I like the Green Lantern comics, don't get me wrong. It is just that is has been very easy to make fun of this event, such as parts one through three or parts four through six. Well, in one single day parts seven through nine came out so here we are again with me not wanting to be a jerk and make fun of War of The Green Lanterns, but you know I'm going to, so let's just begin as I do my snarkier-than-usual reviews.
Green Lantern #66
I guess Geoff Johns took time out from Flashpoint to write this, and I think that is the case because you can tell in certain parts he rushed through. Where? Well, maybe when the Guardians of Oa who are possessed by entities of emotion spout cliche statements that equate to what they are possessed by. I.e. the rage-possessed guardian says how he is angry, the greed-possessed guardian wants to control all of the corps, and other really corny stuff like that which seems to be so trite and silly they wouldn't put it in here...but they did. Then we get Sinestro trapped in that story-vampire lady's evil book learning some dark secret about the Indigo lantern woman that should be interesting but I just really don't care about the Indigo lanterns as they have been incredibly dull up until now and its their fault that when John Stewart put on one of their rings he got a hideous outfit. Oh, then that crazy rogue-guardian named Krona dresses Hall Jordan and Guy Gardner up in robes and wraps them in bandages because he wants to make them guardians too for some reason that isn't really explained well at all. Okay? Robes and bandages apparently make you a little blue person or something weird like that? This was sub-par.
2 out of 5 stars.
Green Lantern Corps #60
Kyle Rayner and the horribly-dressed John Stewart try to stop green rings from flying away, realize that won't work, fly into the big planet Mogo, stand around bitching about how they dont' know what to do before John Stewart absorbs Black Ring energy that makes him look like a zombie...and then they blow Mogo up. Yeah, that's it. The page where Mogo blows up looks cool but did we need a whole comic of two heroes whining about how ineffective they are and then blowing up a planet? Also, this is the second time John Stewart has killed a planet, that mofo should make a career out of it. I can picture the ad on basic cable now, "Planet in your way? Call me, I'm John Stewart and I'm good at blowing shit up!" Again, pretty much nothing happened in this issue other than a big, "Boom," at the end.
1.5 out of 5 stars.
Emerald Warriors #10
The separate stories in the previous two issues come together here, and another homo-erotic statement that this event has been filled with occurs--and on the first page! Namely, Guy Gardner comments about stuffing things down his throat to shut him up won't work. He is referring to rags, but after the track record these comics have had, any sort of reference to throat stuffing is probably a bad idea right now. Anyways, all the Guardians and Green Lanterns freak out this issue due to some sort of feedback from Mogo being blown up, it rains debris on the planet in some well-illustrated pages, and our four main heroes team up again to try on rings of various colors to try and break a power battery and force out Parallax or some weird sci-fi junk. In order to do this Guy Gardner has to focus at the same time about what he loves and hates, so we get some pages of him screaming as if he were a child about how much he loves the corps and hates being full of rage. Great to know, Guy, it sucks to be you. Anyways, for those of you reading who care, they force Parallax out of the battery and then everyone lines up to get ready to fight Krona in the next issue which will be the conclusion of this event. This means that Green Lantern #67 will probably be one big fight scene and then everyone crying about how Mogo is dead--and then we get some issues of the War of the Green Lanterns Aftermath, which is just a great way for DC to squeeze out an extra dollar. This issue wasn't bad though, the rocks falling from the sky looked good and other than Guy Gardner crying like a girl about what he loves and hates the dialogue actually worked well this time.
3 out of 5 stars.
Well, I'm done roasting Green Lantern for now--and remember, I do it out of love.