Tuesday, February 2, 2021

Groundhog Day is Here, Let's Harass Some Rodents!

"Sir, please put me down."

As I detailed last year, Groundhog Day was originally my gig until that little rodent stole it from me. I explained that back in the day, I would wake up on February 2nd to find a large man in a top hat at my door. He would hoist me up by the scruff of my neck (keep in mind I'm naked this whole time) and carry me outside to a large crowd who would cheer as they awaited the news of if I saw my shadow or not. The man would lift me above a tree stump and refuse to let go until I declared if I saw my shadow. After I would say, "Yeah, I see it," or, "No, I do not," he would release me, at which point I'd scurry back into my house in search of some breakfast and pants. It sounds absurd, and that's the point--this whole holiday is absurd! 

We are bugging a random rodent and demanding he, "Tell," us if he sees his shadow or not. This randomness makes me view Groundhog day with a mixture of amused excitement and a little bit of scorn. I like this holiday because it is cute and silly, I dislike it a bit however because some people actually take a groundhog's so-called, "Prediction," more seriously than scientists warning us about actual dangerous climate change. Anyway, there are many famous groundhogs in various regions where some saw their shadow and some did not, so who knows how much winter we'll actually have still? I mean, besides knowledgable scientists.

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