Sunday, January 10, 2021

"Kings & Queens," By Ava Max is Total Trash

 Ava Max has one passable song titled, "Sweet but Pyscho." She has a new hit titled, "Kings & Queens, " which is absolutely terrible. It sounds like some overproduced sludge with a vaguely techno-medieval vibe. Her lyrics are vapid on it, rhyming about swords as a thinly-veiled metaphor for a penis and weaksauce girl-power proclamations about how she's there for Queens, "Fighting alone," which seems more like an empty gesture than actual support for go-getting women. 

There is, of course, a bridge with a loud guitar shredding that sounds like something from a shitty Medival Times knock-off that wants to have the dullest and most inoffensive rock band ever playing. The song is going for an epic tonal quality, but is just awful. Oh, and I watched the music video when I embedded it into this post above and it looks like the most low-budget, "Game of Thrones," imitation ever full of imagery that makes no sense--is there a chessboard because that has kings and queens? What's with the parrot? Who knows? I don't hate all of today's new popular music, I'm not just some grouchy old man. This is garbage, though.

7 comments:

  1. Honestly, Ava Max's music in general is just garbage. She's an industry plant that makes boring a cookie cutter pop music that panders to edgy 12yr olds. Her live performances are terrible, her songwriting skills are horrible, and her voice is annoying as hell, she sounds like a crying wolf. Musicians like Charli XCX, Kim Petras, Allie X, Sigrid, and Alice Chater are MILES better than her, yet they don't get enough credit. It sucks that the public would just eat up shitty, generic, and boring pop music.

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  2. This song is an ode to the patriarchy, which is hilarious because the artist was clearly going for the opposite effect. "If all if the kings had their queens on their thrones, we would.... raise a toast to all of the queens who are fighting alone". Soooo wwomen need to be put on their thrones by men in order that we may then celebrate the women whom have not yet been lifted (by men) to their throne? Surely this is not the effect she was looking for... dont even get me started on the "sword" part..

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  3. yes you are right all my sister sings is that and ava max is junky

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  4. Please please please stop playing this song ! ! ! ! Sounds like a crying wolf is spot on.....

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  5. I think that the verses that are more melodramatic sound awful and unintelligible (in the bad way, where I thought the lyrics were "raise our tones", not "raise a toast"), but the verses when she's got more swagger at least have a groove to 'em that's sonically decent. but jeez, reading the actual lyrics makes them seem even more whiney and possessive. this reminds me of some incel shit; like, I'm sorry if people don't wanna fuck you (oh sorry, "dance" with you"), that's their right. but yeah, when she's going into her lower register, I just wanna die. there are so many of these pop songs with that exact sort of performance that just sucks any life out of the tune.

    the radio I'm my job plays this song at least twice a day along with bad 80's/90's hits (that can only be rightly labeled "caterwauling"), that atrocious Nick Jonas song ("This Is Heaven", which has an excellent sax solo that makes me hate it more for wasting), and that 'sucker for you' track that exits my mind as soon as it stops playing--when I know for a fact they've licensed better new pop songs like "Leave the Door Open" and "Blinding Lights".

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  6. "In chess a king can only move one space at a time, while the queen can go wherever she likes." Lmao. Not true. The "Queen" in chess can move like any piece on the board, EXCEPT for the Knight. "Queens" are a powerful piece of the board, but sure as Hell they can't do whatever they want. They are also NOT the most important piece on the board - again they are powerful, but not important. For all the power that a "Queen" has on the board, it is in fact very frail meaning that one wrong move and no matter how much spaces she moved, she can be gone in the blink of an eye. Another thing to point out, the "King" moves only 1 space because its a more strategic type of piece, while the "Queen" can just lash out at anything at the risk of getting taken off the board at any moment. A good example of this is Daenerys and Cercei from "Game of Thrones" - she was a queen and did all she wanted and whatever she wanted, and STILL she ultimately fell at the hands of a King. Let that sink in.

    And yeah... I'm a girl who supports the patriarchy in a lot of ways, and hates this song for how it tries to undermine men (which it utterly fails at). Yeah, we girls are strong and can do stuff on our own but we also have to give a lot of credit to men. Without men, we wouldn't be anything on the majority of things and vice versa. Men don't need to put us up in any type of throne, as long as we respect and care for each other that's all that matters. A woman with power is usually not a good idea - not saying that its bad, but most of the time it does do kore harm than good as us women tend to get greedy and comfortable with their newfound freedom. Want another example? Kathleen Kennedy controlling Star Wars.

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  7. I thought I've blown up my tweeters while hearing this song. The vocals are like +12db in treble range. Sounds like a distorted guitar but then on the vocals. Absolutely terrible post processing. I don't know why the artist accepted this record... It's even a master recording on tidal and it's absolutely worthless trash.

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