Flashback Friday: The Last Time a Comic Utterly Shocked Me

I was thinking about the last time a comic came out of nowhere and surprised me, and it has been a bit, but man was it a shocker. Normally comics solicit certain storylines in advance so you have an idea what the future holds, or a seeming twist is undone quickly. Well, not in my most recent case, which is actually from a bit ago (2011), but still the most recent time I went, "Oh my goodness! I didn't see that coming!" Yes, I literally said it like that.

"Uncanny X-Force," #4 came out in early 2011 and followed a team of mutants who like previous X-Force teams were kind of a special-ops. This series involves them learning how the evil Clan Akkaba has created another rebirthed Apocalypse and the X-Men need him gone before he threatens the World. One hitch to their plan--he is currently in the body of a young kid...

Yes, Clan Akkaba figured the best way to create the perfect version of Apocalypse was not a fully-grown version that seems to always fail fighting humans and mutants alike, but a young boy who is a blank slate that can be taught everything he needs to know. He currently has hurt no one and even seems sweet, but he has horrific potential if his mind is poisoned by the Clan Akkaba.

By the time X-Force stumbles upon this young version of apocalypse they immediately realize they can't kill an innocent kid regardless of his genes as that is what humans have been wanting to do to all mutants for years. They start discussing how they'll take him back the X-Men mansion to raise him right and it all seems to be how you'd expect this to go do until there is a loud, "Bang," drawn and then this:

Fantomex, who had said nothing, shoots the kid silently.  The rest of the issue is them--without many other words--evacuating back home, upset and startled. I honestly did not see that coming, and later it is revealed how Fantomex takes some of the blood to create his own Apocalypse clone in a simulated reality he names, "Evan," in the hopes of testing-out if maybe there could be a good version of Apocalypse (the character went on to pop-up in various X-books) and he was too rash.

Even if that extra step of cloning an Apocalypse designed only for good counters a bit of the initial brutality, I was dumbfounded to see even one member of X-Force would, "Go there," when generally the plot would not do as such. I guess writer Rick Remender wanted to surprise us all (with artist Jerome Opena making everything look great too). The new team finds itself forever a little shaky by what it had to do even if they learn about the helpful clone later on. The rest of, "Uncanny X-Force," was a solid run, but nothing could live up to the bewilderment I felt reading issue #4. So, 2011 was the last time a comic utterly shocked me and hopefully, another one will again sometime soon.

Best Comic-Artists--2016 in Review

Art-Skillz

I talked about a number of great comic-book writers in 2016, but only have two artists to talk about. A big aspect of comic-books is of course the artwork, but two people in particular caught my eye. The reason for that is while plenty of comics had great art these two creators made stuff where just seeing their illustrations made me say, "Whoa," to a degree that no other books did. One of these artists was on a book I otherwise honestly didn't really care for and the other worked on a title I loved but which was cancelled.

Jerome Opeña

I was not amazed by the story in, "Seven to Eternity," but man did it have some incredible art thanks to Opeña. I've only kept reading it due to how utterly incredibly the man's drawings of this strange alien world are. Opeña has worked on a number of comic books I've read and seems to just get better and better as the years go by. Even when he's doing a comic I don't especially like the story of, I know he'll doubtlessly impress with his art.

Kate Niemczyk

Niemczyk was the illustrator on one of my favorite cancelled comics of 2016 and while writer Chelsea Cain obviously was a big part of my enjoyment in regards to, "Mockingbird," Niemczyk and her artistic skills just made the book even more of a home-run. Whether creating cool layouts of a boat in a manner reminiscent of the complex designs found in, "Acme Novelty Library," or masterfully showing a fight scene's motion, Niemczyk is a boss on the comic-page.

Rant-Reviews: Mini-Themes

Mini-Themes Today
I don't always have a theme for my capsule-style reviews, and sure enough today lacks much of an overall theme. However, I have noticed a few mini-themes between some of the comics that I felt was worth spotlighting.

Theme: Humans Are Violent and Terrible
These three comics illustrate that sadly humans can often be violent and terrible creatures. Whether it is through our racism, because we want to be entertained, or a desire for money, human beings can kind of suck, you know?

Black #2

Anything else aside this is a great hook: A comic imagining a world where only a small percentage of people ever happen to gain powers, and all of those people happen to be black. It's a pretty charged concept but to the credit of the creative team--which includes stellar artist Jamal Igle--it so far has been working. It is also addressed how something as shocking as this idea could remain a secret in the world, namely that the Government/s out there have worked their darnedest to make sure the populace doesn't know about such a super-powered minority. Whether this is being done in the guise of, "If people knew they would treat black people unfairly [with the irony being they already are discriminated against]," or if therre are even more evil plans in-the-waiting is yet to be revealed, but I doubt anyone murdering witnesses to super-powered black folk has kind intentions for those with powers.

Another element of the book I like is that while there are clearly bad-guys and good-guys there is plenty of gray situated between these black-and-white matters (pun not intended, but I'll take credit for it anyways). There is a white police officer who helps another investigating the conspiracy because he feels he isn't, "Like the others," meaning other white police officers--although he previously shot some black teens who, "Fit the description," of an APB, so he ain't that innocent either. This is just one example of the ways, "Black," discusses racial politics, but don't think this is just a dull treatise on race-relations--the aforementioned Jamal Igle illustrates scenes of action wonderfully and his skill as always is something marvelous to behold. Between the creative storytelling and superb art I am quite enjoying, "Black," and look forward to future issues.
4 out of 5 stars.

Fish Eye #1
This comic is a little bit of a mixture of, "The Truman Show," and a really violent Tarantino movie, with all the positives and negatives that entails. The plot of this comic is that our protagonist, a small-town cop named Travis, is actually the star of a reality show completely unbeknownst to him. Everyone around him is an actor in this town and his adventures have been broadcast to an attentive audience. The thing is, ratings are slipping so the creator of the show has agreed to kill-off Travis and proceed onto other projects. However, Travis is maybe too good of a hero in this story, putting up an immense fight for the fictional world he holds so dear.

Putting aside the logic-question of how this show could get away with literally murdering someone (there aren't any hints this is some kind of ruined-future where such a thing would fly, it seems to be indicated this is a normal world just like ours), it is a clever concept and seeing the creator of the show distraught about having to kill his, "Baby," e.g. the son he's secretly cared-for through all these years running the show--brings with it some interesting moments too. The atrocious thing is the idea of a star being killed by disinterest of the very fans who once loved him/her isn't that far-fetched in some ways. Right now the book seems to be working at getting its footing with all these ideas, and sometimes it seems unsure if it wants to be more focused on gory-fighting or exploring concepts of entertainment and morality, but it' is still a solid first issue and a series worth checking-out.
3.5 out of 5 stars.

Deathstroke #7
I'm just so happy that Christopher Priest has come back to comics (occasional toe-dipping back into a short project here-and-there aside) and is writing such a stellar series in the form of, "Deathstroke." It is saying something that a character I never, ever cared about and who seemed to be defined by, "He kills people and likes money," suddenly is so fascinating to me thanks to a talent like Priest. One thing I love is that Deathstroke's adventures clearly stand on their own but as he is a member of the DC-universe that brings with it the baggage and benefits one would expect. We've seen Batman in previous issues and this one gives us a very perturbed Superman. The amazing thing though is that Priest has been telling his own awesome and epic story while incorporating all these characters in a way that feels natural and makes sense. I mean, the skill on display isn't surprising considering how much experience Priest has in the field of comics, but its always just wonderful to read something so good. As I said, before I read Priest's first issue of this series I couldn't care less about Deathstroke, and now this comic is one of the books I get most excited to read when I see it waiting for me at the comic-shop. That is a testament to Priest's abilities and my statement about why you should be reading this book right now!
5 out of 5 stars.

Theme: Belief Can Be Dangerous
The things we believe and entertain ourselves with can be dangerous. We may joke about Krampus and have all the bible stories about Noah and the flood, but these comics show that mystical creatures and conceptions of wiping the world clean are not a laughing matter. After all, the power of a belief can be immense.

Tarot: Witch of the Black Rose #101
I realize I didn't actually review the 100th issue of, "Tarot," and feel a bit bad as it was of course a fun and great issue, with it being a huge accomplishment for an independent publisher to successfully hit triple-digits with a title. After all, how many publishers fold before even hitting a 10th issue with any of their books? Meanwhile, Broadsword (the publisher of, "Tarot,") has put out an issue of this book without fail every 2 months since its start (and other cool mini-series as well). That is a big achievement, and to the credit of Jim Balent and Holly Golightly they didn't rest on their laurels after hitting #100, they went and released this fun holiday piece that continues covering the, "Krampus," creatures that were introduced some years ago and have continuously caused trouble for Tarot and her sister (the start of this issue) Raven Hex.

The gist of this issue is that Raven tries to stop a number of Krampus (Krampuses?) from kidnapping and punishing naughty children, because even kids who misbehave don't deserve to be murdered, after all. However, in her effort to stop the Krampus-mayhem, Raven actually summons a horrific monster that destroys everything. It is pointed-out by a Krampus they aren't necessarily evil, they just kind of, exist, and it is because people believe in them they do what they do (e.g. kidnapping and punishing kids). The argument is made that Raven herself got revenge on kids who teased her when she was young and that she isn't too far removed from being a bit of a Krampus herself--so maybe there's a little Krampus in all of us? It's an intriguing concept if also a bit of a downer. Then again, if there is a little evil in all of us perhaps hopefully there is a lot of good? Whatever the case, another great issue of, "Tarot," was had!
4 out of 5 stars.

The Goddamned #5

I thought about putting this in the first theme about how humans are violent and terrible, because this comic has a ton of that. In the end however, the main reason all the humans in this story are so disgusting is because of belief. Jason Aaron has discussed before how this comic is his coming to terms with growing-up Southern Baptist before becoming somewhat irreligious. The story in these issues has concerned the biblical Cain fighting with the biblical Noah and it being clear that both men are doomed by an excess or lack of belief. The man cursed to roam this horrible Earth--Cain--believes in basically nothing, and the man who thinks he was told by God to build an ark and gather animals--Noah--violently forces others to assist him in his mission from God. The most depressing thing about this last issue before the next story-arc in 2017 is that right at the end when Cain feels like he may have found something to live for, it is violently taken away by yet another character who believes that eliminating something that made them weak/care was the right action. Belief in nothing or blind faith both bring little but ruin, as with everything in life there needs to be a balance of faith in self, others, and a higher power. Too much of anything just brings destruction, as this comic makes abundantly clear.

5 out of 5 stars.

Seven to Eternity #3
Man, this comic has just been gorgeous thanks to Jerome Opeña, and the idea behind it is clever, but the execution of the story just has left a lot to be desired for me. The concept of how a humanoid (there are all kinds of creatures in this series) developed the ability to give people their wishes in exchange for seeing through their eyes and was able to take over the world this way is smart  (a ruler who nobody realizes rules) but for some reason I just find the rest of the story isn't clicking for me. It is like I see all this potential (and again, it looks beautiful) but I'm not quite feeling it. Still, I love that idea of a man who people pledge allegiance to in exchange for their wish but in a process lose a bit of themselves. That is a good metaphor for how we will often give up much of ourselves in the hopes of achieving a dream or belief. I just wish the rest of the comic lived-up to that great concept and the visual splendor Opeña provides.
2.5 out of 5 stars, mostly thanks to the artwork.

Theme: Comics Experimenting With Form

I wanted to close with some delightfully different books. You see, the art-form of comics can be especially interesting when it experiments a bit. These two comics do some unique things with the comic-form, bringing in aspects of prose, or placing in-story, "Documents," into the book to further establish the world.

The Black Monday Murders #3 and #4

I know the 4th issue just came out (and it was great) but I wanted to talk about the 3rd and 4th issues together, if that's alright. "The Black Monday Murders," gives us these massive issues loaded with comic-pages as well as prose, faux police-records, and all sorts of interesting things; I feel that while the 1st and 2nd issue had to work at introducing the rather large cast, things really get going in the 3rd issue with the 4th being impressive too. Jonathan Hickman and Tomm Coker just are hitting it out of the park, as the saying goes. The overall idea of the story seems to be that fiance as we know it is a living and otherwordly creature--Cthulhu-esque almost. In order for the rich to remain rich they have to pay this force, and that payment is in blood. A lot of questions remain unanswered about a mysterious ancient language, and just how these strange groups full of arcane rituals and orders began. I'm eager to learn more however, and the clever incorporation of journal-entries, files, and other in-universe materials within the story continues to serve it well.
Issue #3: 5 out of 5 stars thanks to an awesome final scene.
Issue #4: 4 out of 5 stars for being great but a bit slower than the previous issue.

A.D. After Death #1

This is going to be three issues long and this first issue feels more like a mini-novel than a comic considering how it is both huge (it is quite taller and wider than a comic) and has a spine much like a book. From what I've observed, the present-day scenes take place in a world where death itself has been cured/beaten, but in the process of that happening Earth became a ruined planet we fled for what may be another dimension or a space-ship (it's not quite clear). These present-time scenes are also more in a general comic-format. However, when the character tells us about his background, growing-up, and seems to hint at how he's responsible for destroying Earth and curing death at the same time, in those segments everything becomes text-heavy with some pictures to establish the story but less in a comic-form and more like a picture-book with long strings of narration and an occasional image.

This format makes the story flow in an interesting way where the present-day scenes in comic-form breeze by much like the years of everyone's deathless lives and the past-tense moments are slow and methodical, breaking down small moments into long chunks of reading--almost as if simulating how when life was more precious we savored every moment, both the good and the bad. Scott Snyder is a writer who I've found to both create incredible stuff (I'm still waiting for more, "Wytches,") and terrible pieces just as well (his epic run on, "Batman," was itself full of peaks and valleys), and Jeff Lemire is both a stellar writer and magnificent illustrator who's drawings compliment the quiet melancholy of this book perfectly. Parts of, "A.D. After Death," are mysterious and make little sense, but I'm betting before too long a lot more will be clearer and just as fascinating.
4.5 out of 5 stars.

Mini-Themes Are Now Mini-Done
I hope my reviews of these latest books made for good reading--and that if you pick-up the books I recommended that they make for good reading in your opinion as well!

Rant-Reviews: Yet Even More 1st Issues to Review!

What, Again?
I've been reviewing a lot of first-issues of comics lately. How about I review some more?

Debuts
Seven to Eternity #1
Rick Remender is an author I can run really hot-and-cold on, with some of his stuff being great and other titles simply turning out...well, the less said about, "AXIS," the better. One thing in this comic's favor however is it re-teams Remender with his occasional collaborator and amazing artist Jerome Opeña. Apparently this first issue of, "Seven To Eternity," has sold-out all over and is a huge hit. I'll be honest and tell you I understood almost nothing that was going on in this book, but it was interesting (and amazing-looking) enough that I think I'll want to pick-up issue #2. This book takes place in another world where an evil, "King of Whispers,"has taken over the world by turning people against each other (those who dislike him call him, "The Mud King,") and gaining control of almost everything.

Much to the credit of Remender and especially Opeña, everything really feels alien and otherworldly, with this strange Universe actually giving off a vibe of unfamiliarity and strangeness that sci-fi books sometimes sadly lack. I imagine as this comic proceeds more will make sense (I hope) and that the art will remain fantastic (as long as Opeña is on it, of that I'm sure). I liked the story but didn't love it, and adored the artwork without a doubt. Interesting stuff.
3 out of 5 stars.

Ancient Dreams #1
A comic written by JP Roth, whom I met at my first Project Comic-Con back in 2013, this book looks pretty but I have zero idea what is going on, much like with the just-reviewed, "Seven to Eternity," but this differs from that book in that while with one book I was intrigued enough to want to at least learn a little more, this title was just confusing and dull. I mean, at least it looked pretty good? The whole things just seems so unreasonably dense, really. It has pages of text that as far as I can tell are as indecipherable as the story but are presented as some kind of compliment to the proceedings. It is just a bunch of boring nonsense, really (the comic and the text).
1 out of 5 stars.

Doom Patrol #1
Part of the new DC comics imprint, "Young Animal," which is spearheaded by Gerard Way--a comic-writer I adore thanks to, "Umbrella Academy," and who also apparently has a popular band--this first book to debut from the imprint is also written by Way with art by Nick Derington. While there have been many runs on this comic, almost 99% of people think of Grant Morrison and when he wrote the comic when they hear the words, "Doom Patrol," and yes, I made-up that 99% statistic but imagine it is true. Therefore, people often associate, "Weird," with, "Doom Patrol," and Gerard Way kindly brings the weird in full-force, much to the delight of myself and other reviewers.

Whether you know the Doom Patrol well or are completely new to the series, it is strange and unfamiliar (but in a good way) for all who dip their toes in. Derington supplies some artwork that gives the immense strangeness a delightful appearance, with the art and writing, "Flowing," together perfectly. An delightfully off-the-wall book I look forward to reading more of without a doubt.
5 out of 5 stars.

The Forevers #1
From the publisher Black Mask, this book centers on a number of celebrities who sold their souls (or something) to achieve fame, but when one of them dies they realize the death of others gives them all the remaining energy, I think. You see, the description about the comic says all this but the book itself is so decompressed that only half of that summary even occurs in this issue (somebody dies). When a story moves so slowly that it hasn't even yet fulfilled the prologue-pitch that can be extremely annoying, but thankfully, "The Forevers," does a great job with its dark tone, and scene-setting that lays everything about the characters out before the 2nd issue hopefully moves things along a tad more. This wasn't an amazing first issue, but it was good, and is making me curious what comes next.
3 out of 5 stars.

Widow: Progeny #1
Mike Wolfer returns to a, "Widow," story he started long ago but now is ready to conclude, and I'm pleased to read it! With art by Karl Moline this book involves chunks of the plot from the first volume of the original, "Widow," series but comes-off in a way where much of it can be followed and understood with minimal-to-no prior knowledge of Wolfer's work with his, "Widow," series. The horror-vibe is strong in this comic, with an eerily omniscient 3rd-person narrator giving everything a bit of a spooky-chill as a Coast Guard crew crashes on a seemingly-abandoned island only to discover a number of horrendous spider-monsters pose a clear threat (and other seemingly-normal people pose just as strong a danger). It's scary, it's pleasantly gross, and I quite enjoyed reading it!

Some cool back-matter is included that features Wolfer's artwork for a story that takes place before this issue and some snazzy production-art is thrown-in too. I was very pleased by this story and am eager to witness just how bad things get for the Coast Guard-members--it'll probably be pretty hideous!
4 out of 5 stars.

Hadrian's Wall #1
A murder-mystery set in space, with the, "Hook," being that the person investigating the mystery was chosen because they probably won't do a good job--a clever twist. Basically, someone is dead, and that someone once shot our main character and took-off with our protagonist's wife. Now, our hero is tasked with investigating the death and quite clearly some bad-business is afoot. Writer Kyle Higgins has made some good stories before and this one shows a lot of promise even if the start is a tad dull besides that delightful twist of our detective having every reason in the world to not care about any foul-play. Time will tell if this story goes places as promising as the setup or just kind of peters along. I hope it does more of the former than the latter.
3.5 out of 5 stars.

Always Something New, Eh?
Clearly there are always new books coming out, and some are better than others. There is something exciting about a new series however, so it is always fun to check them out because even if some disappoint, usually just as many impress.

Rage of Ultron--A Sort-of Tie-In to a Movie Which is Nothing Like the Movies

New Readers Need Not Apply

Hey, remember when that popular, "Age of Ultron," movie came out? Yeah, you may also recall that there had been a comic-event of the same name but with a drastically different plot. To fix this issue, Marvel released an original graphic novel  at the start of April titled, "Rage of Ultron," that helps viewers of the movie by being...completely unlike the movies and actually apparently set after an event (Secret Wars) currently going on, making my review not outdated but actually from the future, kinda. Okay?

Yes, it seems after, "Secret Wars," the Marvel Universe is jumping ahead another eight months in its continuity, and, "Rage of Ultron," takes place during that gap. I guess the idea was to lure in fans of the Marvel movies and the latest, "Avengers," flick with Ultron, but I think most folk reading this OGN who have no knowledge of the comics will find it indecipherable.

"Sabertooth dressed like Wolverine? What?"
AKA
What most readers of the comic who just follow the movies will say.

We have a Thor who is a lady (still a mystery woman when the book came out, but we now know her identity is Thor's on-again-off-again girlfriend Jane Foster), The Falcon is Captain America, Hank Pym features heavily in the comic talking about how he created Ultron even though fans of the movies know Tony Stark as Ultron's, "Father," and Hank Pym as the nice old man played by Michael Douglas. Oh, and Sabertooth is basically there as an apropos Wolverine and no one explains why (it was that "Axis" event Remender also wrote) There are references to other Marvel comics, from some, "Secret Avengers," business that this novel's writer, Rick Remender, did a bit ago with robots, to the Wasp talking about living in another dimension (that was from when Bendis did "New Avengers" most recently, I think).

I haven't even discussed the comic's quality yet--and it's a perfectly decent story with some stellar art--but I just think it is worth discussing that for a comic meant to catch the attention of folk excited about the movie-version of Ultron this comic fails on an epic scale when it comes to being new-reader-friendly. That established, let's discuss the comic itself.

Beautiful Art, Passable Story

Jerome Opeña is a fantastic artist, there is simply no doubt about that. Rick Remender can be a great writer (just look at "Fear Agent" or his time on "Venom"), that much is clear. That said, you can hear this story groan under the weight on continuity from all the aforementioned plot-points and struggle to tell an admittedly interesting story about concepts of humanity and technology (and how they combine).

It sadly is presented in a bit of a manner that is black-and-white where Hank Pym's argument against evil AI comes off as a jerk-ish viewpoint and the Vison's claims that a robot is just as human as anyone seeming more legitimate. It seems a really out of character for Pym, because most other times I've seen him, he usually is a bit more warm towards robots--I mean, the man led a robotic team of Avengers recently in, "Avengers: AI." It really reads like Remender needed to give Pym a, "Redemption," arc to his story and did it by writing him as horribly off-kilter at first before making him resemble the Pym we know and love (well, some folk love him and others despise the guy).

These is discussion about how Vision came from Ultron,
so that is at least kind of like the movies these books are riffing on.

The overall plot is how we see Ultron and Pym fighting in the past and Ultron appearing in the present to attempt and take-out his Father before Pym successfully stops him by having their psyches and forms become one...or something, its unclear. The ending is a bit of an anti-climax with Pymtron (I think I came up with that) running off disgusted at what he's becoming and hibernating in space only to return next time a comic-event or movie tie-in the story calls for it.

Were it not for the fact that Jerome Opeña is an absolute beast when it comes to artwork this would be a generally average book. Thanks to him though this is a pretty good time. I checked it out from my local library (those are really handy) so I didn't feel like I wasted my time, but had I bought this full-price I might have felt a little different. My suggestion is to give it a read if you have the chance, but only actually buy it if you really love Opeña's artwork or obsesses about Ultron a bunch.
3 out of 5 stars.

Rant-Reviews--A Smattering Of Week-Old (Or So) Comics That I Am A Funny Jerk To

It's nearly the newest week of DC comics, and I still have a bunch from the first week (well, I guess second, if you want to count the week just Justice League #1 came out as the first)! I ought to say my thoughts on various things from DC, and why not some Marvel stuff too? Also, I'm going to be silly.

Stormwatch #1
This is decently entertaining, with the moon threatening to destroy Earth, everyone does some fun quips, and it's sort of explained how the ret-con of Wildstorm-Universe characters existing in the normal DC Universe happened (it seems this bunch have been operating in secret, hence them not being involved in all those DC events in continuity that still "count". I was satisfied by this comic, I guess you could say.

The thing is, if DC wanted to just shove the Wildstorm-Universe into the DC one like a mad scientist trying to get a cat and a dog to have sex, this would be the result. It'd be violent, kind of messy, and sort of make you wonder why the hell Martian Manhunter is involved. Yeah, he's helping the mad scientist force the cat and dog to get it on in that scenario too. If that sounds like weird fan-fiction, that essentially is what his appearance is here in Stormwatch. "Let's throw in a mainstream DC-Universe character and show how cool he is!" and so forth. I'm being a little harsh though, as I said, I was entertained. Also, the mad scientist is not writer Paul Cornell, he is doing a good job. The scientist is DC. Cornell is just a lab assistant making the best of what he can. Then again aren't we all when it comes to jobs like that?
3 out of 5 stars.

The Punisher #3
Hm, let me double-check this. Yup, it's an issue-long fight scene with some other stuff interspersed, but still little more than stabbing, blood, and weird green-spit that apparently is acidic because it makes vapors. I would bitch about this, but Checchetto makes such nice art I wouldn't care if this issue were The Punisher shooting old ladies in the face who exchange their pain-killer medication with each other when one of the elderly gals runs out. Yeah, that's illegal, and The Punisher will handle that with extreme prejudice. Is it weird that a comic where the Punisher shoots an old woman in the face sounds more appealing to me than having to read another page of Fear Itself? Yeah, I quit that series. Thank God this has nothing to do with it. This was mediocre but looked good.
2.5 out of 5 stars.

Hulk #38
The Red Hulk barely appears this issue, it is mostly the new Modok (we have a new one?) facing off against some computer-image woman and realizing they have the same goal, then saying he loves her. I thought I loved a woman once, but then she told me it would be sixty dollars for the hour so I yelled, "Trick, you said fourty-five! You can go to Hell!" Trust me when I tell you that story was more interesting than this issue. Maybe the fact it ties in to the aforementioned Fear Itself is what really dragged this series down. This is an old issue though, I think we're on #40 or something, but I quit with this issue, because I'm poor, and it's not from the sex-workers, it's the schooling I'm getting and its cost. I'm just glad I have that nest egg of investments in UBS to fall back on. Wait, what scandal? How much in losses? Oh SHIT!
2 out of 5 stars.

Batwing #1
I couldn't tell if the end of this comic was taking place in the past or present, the plotting was so shoddy. Judd Winick can be hit-or-miss, and this was a miss at the level of accidentally giving your niece smallpox. Yeah, and then she infects her friends and we have a world-wide epidemic, you shouldn't have gone into that lab. Really though, I think DC wants it so that they can pump out books with non-white characters, and then when those books happen to not be given the best talent because they are expected to do subpar numbers, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and DC has an excuse to cancel the books. Then DC's Editor-In-Chief Dan Didio can clamber up the stage and bellow about how, "See? People don't want to read about minorities, so quit bitching about the lack of black folks in our comics and suck down more of this Green Lantern merchandise we weren't able to sell when the movie bombed." Also Didio is naked when this announcement happens, because that is how he rolls. Yeah, this comic looked okay but the story was mostly miserable.
1.5 out of 5 stars.

Uncanny X-Force #14
This was good. Rick Remender writes it well and Jerome Opena returns to the series to provide some stellar art. I've got nothing bad to say, actually.
4.5 out of 5 stars.

Justice League International #1
This was fine, but it was just trying too hard. It was like when you're on that first date and you really want to impress the girl or guy, so you keep trying to say jokes that aren't even that clever, or tell stories that make you look cool. Yeah, this comic is that first date. It's a new experience and kind of fun, but also a little painful and groan-worthy at times. Also, the comic really makes it clear the British super-hero lady is a...um...how to put this delicately...sexually active individual. She comments about the various male members of the team and kind of comes off looking, well, easy. She's pretty one-dimensonal in that sense. Then again all the characters are. Batman is mysterious, Guy Gardner is hot-headed, Rocket Red is Russian and is adorable in that Yakov Smirnoff sort of way, etc. etc. Even a mirror has more dimensions...I think. Still, this comic didn't render me a drooling invalid, and it had some fun moments, so I'll give it credit as above-average. I'd ask it out on a second date, to go with our earlier metaphor which has been stretched ever-so-thin.
3 out of 5 stars.

Too Bad It Was Short-Lived--Vengeance of the Moon Knight

Vengeance of the Moon Knight Volume 1
Collecting issues 1-6 of the brief Moon Knight re-launch after Huston and Benson's run, this arc shows how to do Moon Knight right. Plus, the fantastic art by Jerome Opena helps.

Rant-Reviews--Four Marvel Comics.

A decent-enough Avengers, fun done-in-one Deadpool story, the Punisher Plot developing, and Uncanny X-Force being just plain spectacular.

Rant-Reviews--All of these comics are at least a week old, possibly months, what's it to ya?

Batwoman, Action Comics, Uncanny X-Force, and...Ultimate X #3? Does anyone even remember that?