Monday, January 21, 2019

One Thing Has Been Bugging Me and Others About, "The Bachelor."

I've been enjoying the latest season of, "The Bachelor." While the first episode was annoying with its constant interruptions in the form of, "Live Viewing Parties," the second was better in that it was simply just the usual--and had comedians stopping by including Billy Eichner (who is always a treat) to tell jokes. Still, one element continued to persist and perturbed me even further--all this focus on virginity. I get it that in the first episode we've gotta get our jokes out of the way regarding how this season's Bachelor--Colton Underwood--has decided not to have sex until he is in love, and this has resulted in his being 26 and a virgin. Things have gotten weirder as of the second episode however.

There is a woman named Hannah B. (there is another Hannah so she gets a B.) who in the latest episode discussed how she admired Colton being a virgin and how it tore her up inside she had previously engaged in sex with someone else and couldn't give that present to her husband or something; she felt she lacked self-worth. As Vulture pointed out in all-caps, "SLUTS CAN HAVE VALUE AND SELF-WORTH AND REFUSE TO SETTLE, TOO." Just because someone enjoys having sex they shouldn't feel ashamed. 
Hannah B.
Also, the women on the show who are virgins--or one who claims to have never even kissed someone--are treated as weirdly special for being virgins whilst Colton gets jokes made about him. After all, why would a handsome man choose to be a virgin, he should be having all kinds of sex, but of course these women should not because a woman enjoying sex is terrible. That last sentence hopefully sounds moronic to you, but that is basically the message we are being given, as Vice discussed. A bunch of men sitting around leering at a woman talking about how badly they want to take her virginity would definitely give the show a creepy vibe, but as it is hot women thirsting after a dude everyone lets it go. 

Virginity is basically a social construct created by people with prudish morals to make others feel bad about having sex or enjoying it. When someone is very young they should of course not have sex as they are not physically, mentally, or emotionally mature enough for the complications and responsibilities of being sexual. If a grown-ass person wants to have a lot of sex and makes sure it is consensual and they take safety precautions as needed (e.g. safer-sex to prevent pregnancy or STI's) that is perfectly fine however, just as it is absolutely okay to be in your 20's, 30's, etc. and not having sex. People choose to have sex for just as many reasons as they don't. 
Just Google, "Reasons to Have Sex," and there are many.
We have sex because we are in love, bored, simply horny, or (in regards to heterosexual sex) maybe want to procreate. We don't have sex because we lack the time, are busy, don't like anyone we've met who wanted to have sex with us, or simply just aren't horny and would rather read a book than find a sex partner. If you want to have sex and have somebody eager to do sex-stuff with you, go for it. If you don't want to have sex then feel free to abstain from getting freaky. It is as simple as that, yet this season of, "The Bachelor," has practically made the whole focus, "Who is going to have sex with this virgin and deflower him real good?" instead of, "Who is going to maybe fall in love, and have sex in the fantasy suite if they feel like it?"

Tonight will be the third episode of the show. My dear, dear, hope is that as we proceed further into this season that maybe Colton's virginity will be mentioned at times, but it won't override everything else on this show and give us a weird chaste-vibe on a program about a guy dating double-digit numbers of women in the hopes after making-out with them all he'll find the right one. "The Bachelor," has always had its cake and eaten it too with its weird mix of prudishness-meets-sex but this season it has paradoxically talked about sex more than ever due to the presence of a virgin. I pray the show pivots to other things than a relentless tunnel-vision on this concept of virginity, because Dear God are the jokes getting tiring.

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