Television Tuesday--Glee and Saturday Night Live

Cold Open
Tonight is the season finale of Glee, this past Saturday was the season finale of Saturday Night Live. The two episodes that ran last week for Glee and the Mick Jagger-hosted one for SNL both carried with them an air of finality for a variety of reasons even if each series will be continuing, if only for the reason that next year they won't quite be the same. Let's discuss.

Glee Episodes "Props" and "Nationals"

First off, I spoil everything that happens in these two episodes, know that. I started watching Glee early in its third season. My girlfriend would want to watch it and instead of leaving her to view it alone I was nice and viewed it with her. Despite my initial complete lack of interest in a show about the trials and tribulations of high school and involved in singing I kind of enjoyed the program. The only thing I was initially interested in was Jane Lynch's awesome character of Sue Sylvester as I've been a fan of Lynch since she popped up on, "The L Word," and other programs. I was surprised that I didn't hate all the other stuff as I usually have so little interest in stories about high school or teenagers singing today's or yesterday's hits. The plots sometimes are kind of strong however, and I actually would probably like the show even more if it didn't have the singing, as I just really don't need to hear Lady Gaga's music, be it coming from Lady Gaga's mouth or the Glee kids.

A Great Actress

Interestingly enough, the episode, "Props," pretty much illustrated everything that can be right with Glee, and everything that can be downright cheesy and terrible. The story with the character of Puck and his dealing with the stress of thinking he's a failure, lashing out, having his story cross-over with the gym teacher (Beiste) who has been in an abusive relationship and realizes she has to leave it--that's the good stuff. Yes, it's pure soap opera, but its well done soap opera. Tell me you couldn't feel a huge surge of tension when Beiste is standing there in the kitchen in that flashback holding a kitchen knife as her husband yells at her, and until she lets go and it falls in the sink you genuinely wonder, "Is she gonna cut a fool?" Seeing characters who are interesting go through tough times in their lives and come out on top despite being underdogs is just great, and I enjoy it. Unfortunately, we also have to put up with the awfulness of Tina and Rachel's tales.

Puck and Beiste are the best thing this episode

In an almost self-aware meta-textual twist the character of Tina who has done absolutely nothing since I started watching the show to a point where I didn't even know her name till this episode, throws a huge fit. Her fit is about the fact that no one pays attention to her and she is basically scenery. I could almost picture the actress behind Tina having this fit in the writers' room demanding she get more screen-time, as this character really has done nothing. The whole self-aware gag of her character freaking out is fine, but then she hits her head and imagines she is Rachel Berry (and everyone else switches bodies for some weird reason that is a slightly funny joke that gets milked for way too long). This results in her learning a valuable lesson that maybe she belongs in the background and the supposed awesomeness that is the horribly annoying character Rachel Berry pretty much gets, "Yes, you're awesome," told to her yet again. I hate the Rachel Berry character. She thinks she is entitled to everything. She is annoying, whiny, and just bugs me. The character of Kurt is just as talented and doesn't rub our faces in that fact constantly. So yes, this is the downside of the, "Props," episode. This is the stuff that shows Glee at its worst, trying to be cute with fantasy bits and highlighting characters I either don't care about or hate. At least things work out with Beiste.

Body-switching, how...fun?

The other episode that ran as this was a dual-episode was, "Nationals." It had a lot of singing so I zoned out a fair bit. Also Lindsay Lohan appeared as herself in a desperate attempt to revitalize her on-life-support career (did anyone else crack up when the announcer referred to her as, "America's Sweetheart?") along with Perez Hilton--who is looking a lot older than I remember him being. The Glee kids win, everyone is happy, Rachel Berry gets way too much screen time and Puck, Kurt, Quinn, or any other characters I find more interesting get much too little attention. It's still sweet to finally see the team win though.

Tonight the last episode of the season will run, and a lot of the characters are going to leave the show/"graduate". It's sad but better to have them leave now while they're popular than wear out their welcome and be in their 40's posing as 18 years-old. There will undoubtedly be an infusion of new characters, and  the show won't be the same. Whether it can still succeed with its new additions and some remaining cast will be seen.
"Props"--3.5 out of 5 stars (The good stuff was so good it most overpowered the terrible).
"Nationals"--3 out of 5 stars (Kind of dull, but it was nice to see the team win).

Saturday Night Live Season 37, Episode 22/Season Finale
For the Season Finale of SNL things were quite definitely switched up a bit. Mick Jagger was both the host and sort-of the musical performer. I say he was sort-of the performer because this was a rare occasion where there were three musical bits, and they all had different people with the exception being a uniting factor of Jagger as a part of every piece. Arcade Fire went first, then Foo Fighters, and lastly Jagger did an interesting and highly political song called, "Tea Party," with Jeff Beck where some stations cut away because he said, "Shit," at one point. Of course, these stations also were in areas that were more conservative and probably didn't appreciate the content of the song, but I'm sure that had nothing to do with it, right? See it here, surprisingly uncut. Jagger also was genuinely funny in the bits he appeared in, such as secret word where for once someone was able to match Kristen Wiig's actress-character's sheer insanity. How did he do this? With his own actor character who portrays macho-men on the screen but is quite clearly barely-in-the-closet. The bit where he attends karaoke as a shy man and people pretend to be Jagger  was funny also.

Jon Hamm appeared in the cold open where Kristen Wiig's creepy character who always appears on the Laurence Welk show spoof did her usual thing but this time seemed to actually finally find love with Hamm's character. The things he did to her hands...oh my. Speaking of cameos, Steve Martin oddly popped up toward the end of the show for a blink-and-you'll miss it joke too.

While I'm going to tell you of a saddening departure soon, it is known that Andy Samberg and Jason Sudekis have contracts that are up. As for if they will be on the show next season, that is unclear. What is clear would be how Andy Samberg and crew's digital shorts are still hilarious as this 101st one illustrates with its, "Lazy Sunday 2." At first I was afraid we were going to get a retread, but then the beat switches up, the rhymes get fresh, and I indeed laughed--"Still waiting on a ******* youtube check," indeed. Those last verses from Samberg and Parnell seem kind of final though,"On these New York streets I hone my fake rap penmanship," "That's how it began," "And that's how I'mma finish it." I hope he is around next year just because I love the shorts so much if nothing else. Observe:


















Lastly, all this talk of Kristen Wiig getting so much screen time hints at it, and surely enough the biggest news probably was that this was the episode where it was made official she is leaving the cast of SNL, with her being given a send-off by Jagger and friends singing, "Ruby Tuesday," in what started out as a skit but turned into the goodnight-segement (so really four musical bits if you think about it). Everyone in the current cast danced with her and past cast members who hadn't even appeared in the episode showed up to say goodbye to her. It was truly touching and I'm sad she is leaving the show as she was arguably the strongest female presence on the show.

I will miss Wiig being on the show.

All-in-all this was a pretty strong episode (Stefon showed up in Weekend Update too!) even if some sketches were a bit dull (The Al Sharpton one dragged). It was a decent season with some strong episodes and some weak ones, but I'll most remember the talent that was lost at the end of the season or may be lost depending on who else leaves.
3.5 out of 5 stars (for the episode, it's too hard to give the season itself a solid rating. 3 out of 5 maybe).


Credits
There you go, those are my thoughts about Glee and SNL. I hope the season finale of the former is good tonight and equally hope SNL brings in some good talent next year to try and fill the gap left.

Rant-Reviews--My Free Comic Book Day Comics

Start
Free Comic Book Day (FCBD) was a bit ago. I finally went through my lot of comics and can review them. It took so long because I had finals--with the tests and big papers, et al. Now it is summer, so besides hopefully having an internship I shall be a bit more free to complain about and insult comics/movies/books/games/etc. rampantly on the web. Theoretically at least. I've got a long list of things to read and review I'm working on. Let's get to this.

The Reviews

Mouse Guard: Labyrinth and Other Stories
Everyone has been going on about how beautiful this hardcover book looks compared to the other Free Comic Book Day floppies that were around, and while it is quite pretty I don't know if it is something to jizz your pants about--which it really seems folk are. After all, once you crack this thing open and read the contents you get a decent refresher in Mouse Guard lore, a weird tale about a lonely troll-man, an incomprehensible Dapper Men tale, something called, "Rust," that I admittedly enjoyed, a piece about Cursed Pirate Girl that tries a bit too hard to be weird to a point where it loses some of the fun, and a cute-but-throwaway story about a young cowboy who hunts down his nogoodnik relatives. In other words, like almost all anthologies it is a grab bag with little really grabbing me other than, "Rust," which has a strange surreal feeling and charm to it I could possibly find worth following into its main book. Still, the actual comic's design sure is nice.
3 out of 5 stars.

Superman Family Adventures/Green Lantern: The Animated Series/Young Justice
I wanted to like this more, but the, "Superman Family Adventures," I found the best cut off really soon, the Green Lantern bit is quite subpar, and Young Justice is just a lame teaser. No thanks.
2 out of 5 stars.

Avengers: Age of Ultron
This is really just a reprint of Avengers #12.1 but now called #0.1 with Spider-Woman having her outfit colored-on so parents won't freak out about their kids reading this after getting it at FCBD. It's a really sort of pointless Avengers tale that sets up some mega-event with Ultron coming in some months that the Bendis Moon Knight comic also just turned out to be a 12-issue lead-in for. The art is decent enough, I suppose.
2 out of 5 stars.

An Image Comic Sampler (Not It's Real Name, But I Don't Know What It Is)
A random assortment of stories that start up and get cut-off so you go buy the main book--other than a fun thing by Steve Niles and Scott Morse. Otherwise we don't get complete tales, but previews of books, some of which look entirely worth skipping ("Revival") and others that I've heard good things about ("Near Death"). It's still previews though, and if you want me to think your FCBD offering is quality don't give me a smidgen of a story and call it a day.
2 out of 5 stars.

Bad Medicine #1
The complete first issue of a new series called Bad Medicine where the hook essentially is someone has invented invisibility. It's an entirely passable story even if it does some jumping around in time that is completely unnecessary to the plot. Plus, the issue seems to just sort of end, and not in the way a comic should, but like they just ran out of pages for the story. Methinks this maybe was written as a trade paperback and they decided to split it up into an individual comic--at least that's my theory as the way this just comes to a halt on the last page is weird.
3.5 out of 5 stars.

Dinosaurs Versus Aliens
Grant Morrison should be a winner, but we get very little story, then some writings by the authors about how they wanted to do this and make a movie out of it, and then some concept art. I don't take kindly to being given comics that are little more than thinly-veiled movie pitches, even if they look somewhat pretty. The main story could turn out well, but this free comic is bleh.
1 out of 5 stars.

Lady Death: The Beginning
I've reviewed Lady Death before, and she is fine as a cheesecake with some violence thrown in, which is exactly what this is. Something that is impressive however, is that in this era of highly decompressed storytelling how much stuff they cram in here. There is enough material for some authors to stretch out over 12 issues and this just goes at a breakneck pace with its higher-than-usual page-count to help the bunch of stuff that occurs breathe at least a tiny bit. This may be essentially swords-and-boobs, but it's swords-and-boobs done well. That's a good thing.
3.5 out of 5 stars.

Valiant 2012
We get the start of, "X-O Manowar,", which is about some ancient man getting a space-age suit, I believe. I say, "I believe," because the story cuts off before that happens but I've heard about the version of this from years ago and how its being relaunched. There is also an incredibly short snippet of something called, "Harbringer," which is about a psychic kid or something? I have no clue, its so short that I'm lost. There are also random writing pages with script notes or something for another comic. This was a bit lame. Like finding out all those mystical people you believed in don't exist (Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy) level of lame.
1.5 out of 5 stars.

Witchblade: Unbalanced Pieces
The first story is interesting, with the idea that the Univerese was reset and only one man--the wielder of The Darkness--knows about it. Sadly, that is a very short piece of this comic. The rest is a long Witchblade tale that ends up getting cut off (but not because its a short preview, I think its because the issue truly ends). The Witchblade story still isn't that good though. It has a weird bone-and-flesh suit enemy, evil bikers (could we be any more cliche?) and just sort of rambles along with its exposition as apparently this story is being told to us in the past tense by the main character...ugh. I'm intrigued about The Darkness and could skim that, but Witchblade is mediocre at best.
2.5 out of 5 stars (and I'm being generous because that first short tale caught my interest).

The Hypernaturals
Superheroes in the future, unnecessary jumping around in time that doesn't help the plot much, a clearly lacking hook besides the aforementioned superheroes in the future...I'll skip any future issues I think.
1.5 out of 5 stars.

Atomic Robo
An awesome Atomic Robo story that is quite fun and hilarious, then a dull short from Neozoic and a sample of Bonnie Lass. The last two things don't really matter compared to the first story, which is a real keeper with its mad scientist dinosaur. Yes, a mad scientist who is also a dinosaur, you can thank me for pointing you towards this comic later.
4.5 out of 5 stars.

The Intrinsic
This apparently takes various characters Arcana comics has the rights to and puts them together in a completely and utterly forgettable tale about heroes and demons, alternate dimensions, or something. Dull, dull, dull.
1 out of 5 stars.

The Ride/Anti
One story is about a man taking a woman from a, "key party," out to the middle of nowhere and killing her violently, then driving off. The other story is about demons coming to earth or something and a woman who kills them violently. Putting aside how utterly wretched, "The Ride," part was even though its other comics have been okay, the Anti story was pretty horrible too. The fact we have one comic that is just a man brutally murdering a woman and then saying, "Well that happened," and it was given away on FCBD as if people would enjoy reading it is just utterly insulting and disturbing however.
.5 out of 5 stars (the .5 is for Anti having okay art).

The New 52
So, DC Comics wants new readers for their re-launched comics and puts out this impenetrable thing of flashbacks and flash-forwards that looks okay, but barely makes sense at the moment? Okay, whoever said that was a great idea must have been so coked up out of their mind at time that going, "The New 52 is selling so well, I think we should do this ultra-big-encompassing story but forget to have it make a lick of sense," actually seemed like a good idea in their drug-raddled brain. Why are DC executives sniffing cocaine? Two reasons, they are celebrating this New 52 doing quite well, and their magic machine that sees the future showed them how well, "The Avengers," did and they realized they passed on Joss Whedon's Wonder Woman and only drugs can numb that pain. Yes, DC has a time machine, but they only use it for comic-business purposes so as to avoid creating a time-disturbance. You can read all about it in my true news story  which also discusses how Dan Didio has sex with a pile of, "Before Watchmen," scripts and mails it to Alan Moore weekly because Didio is kind of sick like that. Really, I'm working on the scoop for this as we speak (no I'm not).
2 out of 5 stars.

Bongo Comics Free-For-All/Spongebob Comics Freestyle Funnies
The Simpson's story is pure time-passing average, we also get a nice story from a certain famous artist of Mad Magazine (Sergio Aragones) but the Spongebob stuff is where the fun is really at, with a contribution from Kochalka adding some nice flavor.
3 out of 5 stars.

Yo Gabba Gabba!
I've never watched the show but this comic is actually quite good. It's funny, clever, and cute. I am surprised at its story quality and nice art. Go figure.
4 out of 5 stars.

2000 AD
Some of this is preview-material for other comics, but a good chunk happens to be complete stories, and they are pretty good ones. From a decent Judge Dredd that points out how he is a really authoritarian and kind of evil, to a fun old robot tale and a great super-hero pseudo-parody by Chris Weston this is quite enjoyable.
4 out of 5 stars.

End
As can be seen the Free Comic Book Day comics run the gamut in quality widely. I wasn't able to read all of them but I got a pretty good number and some were real winners, such as Atomic Robo, 2000 AD, Bad Medicine and oddly enough the Lady Death comic. Also, that Mouse Guard hardcover does look beautiful even if the inside contents of the comic aren't utterly amazing. All-in-all it was a pretty good FCBD.

Thoughts On The Walking Dead Video-Game Episode 1 and Electronic Gaming Monthly #254

Zombies and Gaming-Magazines.
This post is all about video-games. A fun one based on the popular franchise, "The Walking Dead," and a magazine that discusses them.

Like, "Heavy Rain," but With More Zombies--"The Walking Dead" Game Episode 1: A New Day

Confession time: I've not watched, "The Walking Dead," television show. That's not too embarrassing, but worse I've only read a very few of the comics. I know what you're saying, "And you dare call yourself a comic nerd and horror fan!" Hate all you want, but I just didn't really find myself that intrigued by the concept of zombies without a twist in this modern day. Romero did such an amazing job with his, "Night Of The Living Dead," and its sequels, along with the clever takes on zombies where they actually weren't zombies such as, "28 Days [or the even better Weeks] Later," films that I just felt I lacked a need for much more zombies.

However, I've known about Telltale games for sometime, and have been aware they put out some pretty good stuff. Their, "Sam and Max," games are known to be quite awesome and other than a misstep with their, "Jurassic Park," attempt which was apparently sub-par, they make quality stuff. Therefore, when I heard they had made a Walking Dead game that had action bits but also clever a use of a dialogue system with many people using a comparison to another game I loved, "Heavy Rain," well...my interest was piqued.

Your dialogue choices can have ramifications later in the game.

Upon playing the first episode I can say that this is one entertaining, suspenseful, and at times a bit scary game. Playing as Lee Everett, a man going to prison for a crime we are not yet aware of, everything goes to hell (with the zombies appearing and whatnot) and the police car he's in crashes. After encountering some zombies Lee meets up with a young girl named Clementine who it is clear has parents that are not coming home anytime soon. Lee takes her under his wing and we're off on an adventure.

One interesting thing about the game is how it claims your choices will impact future episodes or even moments within the same episode. My decision to lie to someone did get me a stern talking-to from them as they informed me they could see through my ruse easily, and the game at times will have you make life-or-death decisions that appear to have an effect on future episodes, with someone I chose to save popping up in the, "Next time on the Walking Dead," teaser for episode 2 after I beat the first. I did make it clear how these are split up into a form like television episodes, right? Well, its quite snazzy and gives everything a good feel. It may only take you 2 or 3 hours to play through the first episode, but for a cost not too much higher than some comics today it really is worth the money--and yes, you can do a, "season pass," where you buy all the episodes in advance which is handy.

I really enjoyed this, with its mixture of action, talking, and a smattering of puzzles thrown in to keep the ol' noggin working hard. Your character, Lee, is a fascinating man regardless of the words you have him choose, and Clementine is unique for a child side-kick in that she isn't annoying as hell and actually is fun, smart, and interesting. I really enjoyed this and look forward to the next monthly installment. Hey, just like a comic book!
4.5 out of 5 stars.

I Remember When This Magazine Died In It's Prime. Then They Brought It Back As This.

Electronic Gaming Monthly was my favorite magazine for a long time. Then one day the company was bought-out and the magazine suddenly killed. People who worked in the office were just told that day to leave. My issue of EGM about the upcoming Wolverine video-game (which actually turned out to be pretty good) was suddenly the last one to ever hit newsstands.

Then a good time later I one day saw the magazine back on a news-rack, and it was a new issue. How was this possible, I wondered? It had been returned from nothingness, and this new opening issue had a blessing from the old magazine's famous Dan "Shoe" Hsu wishing it well. It was wonderful! Except it wasn't. It was an okay magazine, but it wasn't my EGM I remembered. Yes, they had previews, and reviews, and features like all magazines, and even a fun little section in the back with writer Seanbaby making fun of bad games as the old magazine did, but things were just so different. They seemed too positive about games in reviews--where was that old constructive criticism I loved? Their letters section was too nice compared to the old one which used to rip people apart who needed a good insult, it now was bimonthly/every two months...things were just so different.

So now we arrive at this new issue. They've tweaked things again, adding three reviewers to most reviews as in the days of old (well, in the even farther past reviews had more reviewers, but we won't get technical), moving sections around, and changing the design style. What do I think? Well, it's a fine magazine, and one I enjoy reading, but it still isn't truly EGM as I remember it. Perhaps the magic that magazine carried is just lost forever, with the closet thing to its big bulky issues of gaming-goodness being some of the UK mags that are loaded with info and reviews. Maybe its nostalgia tinting my views as EGM was something I grew up with for years and the old issues are something I still treasure as opposed to other magazines I don't hesitate to recycle. Whatever the case, this is a fine magazine and a nice read, but it just is not what I think of when I think of what EGM truly is...or was.
3 out of 5 stars.

Film Fridays: Avengers

My Spoiler-Free, Honest Take On The Avengers? Pretty Great.

So, I saw the Avengers at a midnight premiere last night/early this morning (if you want to be specific). I shall share my thoughts with you now. I can say that this movie was yes, pretty great. It's up there with the first Iron Man in terms of quality. The amazing thing is they were able to take all these huge characters and put them together in a movie and make it feel like each got enough time to breathe (except maybe Hawkeye who sort of gets the shaft--get it? He's an archer and I said shaft? Yeah, I'm lame). Much of the credit for this film being as good as it is goes to director Joss Whedon. You can feel his presence in the film for sure, especially in all the hilarious one-liners sprinkled throughout. Seriously, this movie has some moments that are absolutely laugh-out-loud hilarious besides the usual drama and action.

Oh, and what action there is. Things explode, guns fire, people punch, and a Hulk most definitely does smash. I would say Captain America and Iron Man are the best characters in the movie, with Thor and the Hulk doing a great job and the Black Widow and especially Hawkeye seeming a bit like an afterthought. As for Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury, he is quite delightful getting genuine screen-time as opposed to his mostly-cameos in the Marvel flicks leading up to this.

My complaints are minor. Even though pretty much all the characters shine you still really want to to see more of them, and that big battle in NYC (this isn't a spoiler, any preview makes it clear there is big fighting in NYC) seems to start to drag after a little bit. Yes, it looks impressive and is interesting, but it just keeps going and going. Also, whereas Loki seemed a bit more nuanced in Thor, in Avengers he seems more just straight-up evil and maniacal as opposed to deeply emotional sad and complex in addition to evil. Still, this is one stellar flick and quite worth seeing. Oh, but make sure you stay until completely after the credits. Even if you think everything extra is done during the credits, stay until completely after the movie if you truly want to see everything in the film.
4.5 out of 5 stars.

Thoughts About Avengers Before I See It AKA Fan's Guilt

Things On My Chest That I've Got To Confess....

I haven't seen Avengers yet. I had one of the fun surprises in the movie ruined for me--which was lame--so I've put myself on an, "Avengers blackout," where I won't look at any new reviews or information about the movie to avoid spoiling anything else before I see it tonight at midnight with my incredibly patient-with-me girlfriend.

Before I see it though, I admit that while I am excited and have been waiting for this since that scene after the credits of Iron Man where we hear, "Let me tell you about the Avengers Initiative," I have this nagging feeling. I feel a little like a traitor to the very men who helped create these amazing characters, you see.

What's that? What am I talking about? Well, Stan Lee is happy to mug for Marvel and take the credit for making the Avengers and all those other characters, but so much of it was a multi-person effort with people like Jack Kirby, Joe Simon, and more making these characters and the initial tales that made them so popular. Creators who made some of our favorite heroes (Avengers and all the others) were not repaid with royalties but instead are often dying fighting Marvel for their art back (Kirby),or having to beg the comic community for help for their health problems (Quite a few). There is some help however, in a not-for-profit that was founded known as the Hero Initiative that helps comic creators because publishers don't have the heart to do so.

Even the Initiative can only do so much, as creators like Gene Colan who received help from them still had to sell art to merely pay hospital bills until his passing. The family of the creators of Superman are fighting DC for some money for the most-recognized character of all-time. Jack Kirby's name wasn't even in the credits for the Avenger's movie and Stan Lee sounded like he didn't give a damn, until Marvel at the last minute put Kirby's name in--probably to avoid too much bad press.

All these creators screwed over, and Stan Lee has enough power he could shame Marvel into doing something but they pay him enough money he keeps his mouth shut and he keeps smiling for the camera. I have a complex relationship with Lee. I love him for the things he helped create and write, and will be so sad when he dies, but I also feel a bit bitter about how he doesn't seem to care at all about his fellow creators. He's like a relative who lavishes you with love but ignores all your other cousins. You feel great, but feel bad for them.

How can I truly enjoy Avenger's knowing that creators are still having all this done to them, and fans are cheering about corporations screwing over the men who made these tales because they don't want to risk losing getting their monthly hero-stories if a company decides it would rather not publish Superman or Iron-Man instead of paying royalties? God, look at, "Before Watchmen," and how little respect DC must have for Alan Moore now considering he has said countless times over the years, "DC, please quit screwing with me," and they haven't in the variety of ways I have read about them doing crass things to Moore. Really, how can I? I'm not sure, but there are some opinions out there.

Some people suggest just not seeing Avengers, but I'm not sure that's the way to go. I like the idea of donating money to causes that support creators in equal to your ticket price to see Avengers. That sounds like a really fair thing to do. It show creators we value them, and lets us enjoy something some people have been wanting since that first issue of The Avengers came out all those years ago.

Go to this link to give, and give what you want. Yes, it is tax-deductible as they are a non-profit. It makes me feel like I'm both supporting the people who made the characters I love, and the ability of a company to make more movies about those characters (although its not as if Avengers will be hurting for money).

There, I've said my peace.

A Johnny Ryan comic, The Newest Muppet Movie, and A Book on 2001: A Space Odyssey--All Have Been Observed

The Journey Begins
I've read Johnny Ryan's, "New Character Parade", seen the newest Muppet movie ("The Muppets"), and I have read another of those BFI Film Classics books, this one about, "2001: A Space Odyssey."

This Man Has Problems, And I Love Him For It

Johnny Ryan makes some seriously twisted stuff. It can be disgusting, highly sexual and inappropriate, violent, and often is extremely clever and/or hilarious. In, "New Character Parade," Ryan pretty much thinks up a character or concept, and spends 12 panels on it before moving on. This results in utterly insane things ranging from, "Sir Oreo Monocle," and, "The Comic Book Badass," to, "Pervert Reagan," and, "Randy Warrenhole," and those are the ones that don't have super-explicit swears in their name.

This book is offensive to a degree that will shock many but if you can relax and see the humor in it you'll almost assuredly laugh. I find the book most interesting when it gets its most absurd, not necessarily being as dirty as possible, but strange and silly. Yes, Johnny Ryan is indeed a man with a very weird mind, but it is one that is worth seeing the results of when you give him a pen and paper.
4 out of 5 stars.

Satisfyingly Enjoyable--"The Muppets"

Upon finishing watching, "The Muppets," with my girlfriend she commented that she thought it would be better. Not funnier, more dramatic, etc. just better. I suppose I can agree this isn't as good as those classic Muppet movies, but what was the chance this could have measured up to those incredible works?

No, this isn't amazing, but this is enjoyable and satisfying. It's satisfyingly enjoyable. The plot isn't too complex but its mostly there to allow the jokes to happen, all the Muppets characters do a great job being their funny selves, and Jason Segel and Amy Adams to make a great duo.

I found myself often giggling at the jokes, and being a bit touched by the more heartwarming moments. Perhaps I didn't bowl over laughing as I did long ago with, "The Muppets Take Manhattan," but I still was enjoying myself. Plus, there was a fun mini-game of sorts in identifying all the celebrities who appear in cameos--try and spot them all!

"The Muppets," isn't the best movie in the franchise, but it's a good addition, and definitely worth seeing. Plus, in this era of making everything CGI and digital there is something admirable about the creators of the movie keeping the Muppets in their classic puppet form. A computer-graphics-Kermit is something I just don't want to see. Give the movie a shot and you should be entertained, just don't expect too much.
3.5 out of 5 stars.


2001: A Space Odyssey (BFI Film Classics book)

I've always thought of, "2001: A Space Odyssey," as a strange movie--little did I know the story of how it was made is also odd and interesting in its own right. From name changes and delays, to being over-budget and heavily altered by director Stanley Kubrick right before and even after its initial release, "2001: A Space Odyssey," has a history as fascinating as the images on the celluloid themselves.

Yes, we have passed 2001 and we clearly aren't doing as much in space as people thought, so the future predicted was a bit of a let-down, but must one pick nits over the date the movie chooses? This is moreso an examination of the history of man from his dawn during the time of apes to a new step in existence at the end. Regardless of if we have commercial flights to the Moon or not the message within the film is still great. Just what is that message? That's a main focus of the book.

This text talks much of how, "Space Odyssey," is minimal and everyone took away their own message. The novel which went with the movie arguably took an angle of man becoming dangerously advanced and his nuclear weapons being destroyed by the advanced space-baby. When I myself saw the film I saw more of a message from the middle-half with the homicidal HAL computer, thinking the moral was as we make our computers more and more human there will be a point they have their own emotions, fears, and even the ability to commit violence of their own volition--so be careful with that technology, humans!

This is a great book, as the last BFI one I read about, "Night Of The Living Dead," was and the other's I have been devouring are too. It makes a great additional reading to go with the flick.

I would recommend seeing this film as it is a fascinating piece of work, and then if you want to learn more perhaps reading this book or the countless other ones about this great movie. I just really love this series of books because they are full of fascinating facts, tell a story too, and are easy to carry in their small-size that also makes them a bit of a quicker reader (which I like, that's not a complaint). Yup, check it out.
4.5 out of 5 stars (for the book, the movie is great too though).

Arrival At The End
Could there be a stranger assortment of things than a book of nasty-yet-clever comics, a movie for children that adults can also enjoy, and a detailed book about a classic film that leaves you as intrigued as it does confused (the film, not the book)? Yes, there probably could be a stranger assortment, but this is still pretty odd. That's all in day's work/post for The Newest Rant though.

Utterly Random Thoughts On 2 Lame Marvel Comics And A Singer Showing You How A Certain Body Part Works

This is One of Those Posts Without a Focus.

I know I literally just did a post with links, and this isn't that. This is more a rambling post about Marvel sucking, and Brian McKnight making sure I'm ready to learn.

Lame Marvel Comic #1

I just flipped through this and was glad I didn't ever plan on buying this series. It's the, "Versus," series of comics that tie in with, "Avengers Versus X Men," series and feature nothing but two big fights each issue. Yeah, nothing but mindless fighting. That could be fun, but not for $3.99. Especially not with little, "fun facts," trying to be cute interspersed in the story:

Maybe when all the issues of this are on sale in the quarter-bin I'll give it a look-over. Otherwise, no thanks. Also, in what world would Magneto lose to Iron Man in a fight? Magneto is the bee's knees yo!

Teach me, Brian McKnight!

This has been making the rounds on the internet, television, and radio (albeit edited for those last two formats). Basically Brian McKnight is joking (I think) about putting out an, "adult," mixtape with one of the songs being where he teaches a woman how, "Her pussy works," because he bets she didn't know, "That it could squirt." Yes, I'm serious. 

You could find this gross and slightly offensive but this is Brian McKnight we're talking about, and that man has a voice that is already like sex so is it really a stretch for him to get a tad raunchier than his other romance songs? Listen, laugh, and you be the judge. I found a Youtube version without the ads you have to watch before the main video. You're welcome:

Yeah, I'll buy a copy.

Lame Marvel Comic #2
There had been a Marvel comic called Battle Scars that was coming out for the sole purpose of giving Nick Fury a son who was black. Why is Marvel doing this, you may ask? Well, in the Ultimate Marvel Universe Nick Fury is black and looks like Samuel L. Jackson and they based the Avenger's movie character who popped up in most of the other movies on him...so I guess Marvel wants their normal comic-Universe to be more like the movies.

So basically over six issues a man named Marcus Johnson learns he is actually the bi-racial son of a lilly-white Nick Fury and a fellow black spy he fell in love with. Then, Marvel shoe-horns Mr. Johnson into the role of being the head of SHIELD and reveals that his actual birth name was--wait for it!--Nick Fury:

Oh, and they are bringing in Agent Coulson from the movies as his friend. That's besides the point though of how hard Marvel is trying to force this. Even if you ignore the uncomfortable racial tension of telling a black man, "Sure, you've lived your whole life as Marcus Johnson, but now some old white man who is your birth father you never met until recently gave you this name so you have to go by it," Marvel is still pretty much making a ham-fisted gesture not at diversity, but at making their, "real," universe look more like the movie one.

Needless to say I'm pretty glad I didn't buy this comic during its run either considering it was just Marvel's excuse to go, "Hey, we've forced a black Nick Fury into the 616 world now too, never-mind that in reality someone probably wouldn't appreciate being told they have to now go by the name of their estranged father!" Sorry I brought that up again, it's just really weird.

So Ends This Truly Random Post
I hope you enjoyed my ranting and raving, because I really wasn't sure what point I was trying to make other than that Marvel put out two bad comics this week and Brian McKnight is eager to teach ladies how their genitalia functions. I suppose after all my DC-bashing lately for their incredibly stupid, "Before Watchmen," idea I needed to give Marvel some wrath too.

News, Commentary, And Link-Madness

Let's Do Some Thoughts On The News and Links

• Whatever minimal respect I had for J. Michael Straczynski has completely evaporated with his comments about why its okay for him to do Before Watchmen and how he owes Alan Moore no courtesy because contracts have always been bad for creators. Alan Moore is a comic-book God worthy of at least some respect, JMS did some good stuff with Supreme Power and then pretty much anything else he's done has sucked and/or he has quit work on in the middle of. The last thing by JMS I'm buying is the last issue of, "The Twelve," and that is more because its gotten pretty bad too and I sort of just want to mock it.

• Speaking of Before Watchmen, David Brother's said it all wonderfully.

• Living in the Northeast is pretty unpleasant this week.

• Let's get this out of the way...when young and traveling in a foreign country President Obama ate dog meat.GOP candidate Mitt Romeny (we can say he's the candidate now, right? No more of this primaries nonsense?) in the past stuck his pet in a carrier and drove on the highway with it strapped to the roof. I think regardless of your feelings about how much this matters in regards to their ability to be President we can all agree despite owning dogs both men maybe would be better served by having a cat.

• Yeah, DC's continuity in the new universe is a bit of a mess due to keeping some stories the same such as with Batman and Green Lantern.

• The huge company Wal-Mart known for not always being the most ethical may have been bribing people? How non-shocking!

• I'm not linking to E3, the big video-game expo (once bigger, but that's another story) so much for what is there as what isn't there that people keep going on about to my annoyance: The supposed next-generation of consoles. Sony says they aren't going to reveal a PS4, Microsoft says there isn't going to be a Xbox 720 (or whatever) but the rumors won't die. If there is in fact a big surprise reveal I'll be annoyed all the rumor-mongers were right.

• It is confirmed that the newest Dark Knight Rises trailer will run with the premiere of the Avengers movie in the USA. I'm extremely pumped for both so that's just good news upon good news.

• Also Avengers: Star-villain Tom Hiddleston who appears as Loki actually wrote an article about superhero movies and why they shouldn't be dismissed. Nice! 

• This Captain America figure for the movie just looks creepy though. Too realistic= uncanny valley.

• Chris Roberson said he was concerned with the way DC Comics was acting ethically, but he was going to finish his work on iZombie and then do the arc of Fairest he agreed to before quitting the company. DC didn't appreciate his words and gave him a head start on quitting by firing him off the arc of Fairest ahead of time. On one hand he did publicly bad-mouth a company he was working for and said he was leaving them soon, so what could have been expected to happen? On the other hand, when you call a company immoral and its first response is to fire you for expressing an independent thought about its practices...yikes, that doesn't make said company look too good.

• Jeez, it seems like I'm just bashing DC today, so here's something positive about them, they've updated the quality of their huge omnibus books. Those things can be physically hard to read so that's good news. 

There we go, a whole lot of things to think over.

How Wolverine's Son Daken--When Written By Rob Williams--Both Defied Heroic Tradition And Ended His Series In the Best Way Possible

Intro--Evil To The End

Daken has been a complex character. The last issue of his series came out some weeks ago, and I've had time to think about Daken, and how he's been pretty much unlike any other "hero" character in that he was born evil, stayed evil, and died unrepentant. The evil son of Wolverine, Daken was at first presented to us as a character we were supposed to think of as being super-cool but the more Marvel tried to make him awesome the harder he was to like. Then he had his own series launched with Daniel Way that made him a bit better, but it wasn't until Rob Williams took over the character on issue #9.1 (yeah, they gave it a .1 to segue) that something magical happened--Daken and his series became one of my favorite comics.

The One Change We Needed
Rob Williams essentially just changed one thing with Daken, he quit making us trying to think Daken was, "all that." Daken still thought he was incredible, awesome, and the best, but Williams now wrote him in a way where we saw this wasn't true, it was a glaring character flaw. This one change made the comic a fascinating character study. Daken came out to LA, got himself a boyfriend (Daken was bisexual, so yah for diversity but boo for the trend of always making bisexuals bad guys) and set about planning to take over the city as he did another one called Madripoor earlier in his series. However, unlike his taking over of Madripoor we now were seeing Daken not as a bad-ass, but as a man with a complex about his father who had convinced himself he was the best even though he really wasn't.

Daken got hooked on a drug called Heat that could actually beat his healing factor, and this made him even more interesting--as the character that for a long time was shown to be infallible was finally slipping up. He met a fellow sociopath named Donna Kiel, but with the difference being that she used her dark side for the FBI. When bodies started turning up seeming to have been killed by Daken he tried to solve the mystery with her, but not because he felt he was a hero--he did it because he thought the idea of him going on drug-fueled kill-binges was below him and it must be a set-up. It turned out it was and his boyfriend was behind the murders, getting Daken hooked on Heat, and otherwise causing a lot of trouble. Daken and Kiel took down his now-ex with the help of some other heroes, but when he tried to fully bring her over to his dark side of killing people she turned on him, showing he truly is just a lonely sociopath that can't be related to. This put Daken on his final mission--ruin things for his daddy.

If You Can't Live Up to Him, Destroy Him
That's what this has really been about. Daken tried as hard as he could to be unique and separate himself from Wolverine, but he's always in his father's shadow. Even when confronted by another hero named Moon Knight who with his multiple personalities thinks he's Wolverine (long story, must run with), Daken flips out and attacks the man--even though he says he knows full well it's Moon Knight a part of him just wants to attack the part claiming to be his father, even if it's just a hero's psychosis.

Daken is in LA trying to be a criminal kingpin, be unique, not be anything like his dad...but once he's rejected by the only woman he ever felt came close to him in amazing-ness, and sees LA can't really be his due to another actual kingpin, Daken figures he's going to do whatever he can to take his dad down a notch.

So Daken plants bombs outside of super-hero bases/mansions/buildings and tries to whip New York into a frenzy about their heroes....but they never were big on heroes, so what's it matter? All the heroes show up to stop him, and when he asks his dad if he wants to know why he even did this Wolverine just tells him, "No."

That, "No," must really piss Daken off, as his father is the one man he's always wanted to both destroy and in some ways impress. I'm amazed though, because here we are in the last issue of Daken's series because it got cancelled and he's staying evil, this isn't going to be the usual cape-comics cop-out of redemption. Then this happens:

He holds his father...tells him he's sorry. It's sweet. I should hate it, but I don't. Daken has been so evil, so bad, and maybe just maybe he feels something human...but no:

Daken reveals he planted one last huge bomb at Wolverine's school...and then he blows himself up, leaving behind nothing to bury, so everyone always wonders, "Is he really dead?" In a true mocking of super-hero tradition.

By the way, Wolverine rushes home for that last bomb to discover Daken left nothing more than a Wolverine little doll, the last ultimate "up-yours" to the father he never could equal, but who also was unable to make his son something more than a villain.

This Was All Just So Stellar, And Defies Tradition
Perhaps having his series cancelled was actually a good thing for Daken, this is the one time it actually helped a character. Had he lived too long Marvel maybe would have wanted to redeem him, make him learn a lesson and become a good guy. This way Daken goes out the way he always was, unapologetic in how he is just plain evil.

This may be the best writing of Rob Williams career, and I applaud both him and Marvel for letting Daken end the way he started--a bad guy. In the future there may be urges to bring him back for some reason, but this was just so wonderful and perfect a way to end the story of Daken that he should just be left alone. Don't try to make him a hero or something awful like that. Daken was just amazing once Williams took over and while I'm sad its over, the way it ended was pitch-perfect. You killed it Marvel, drop the mic and walk off the stage, never to touch Daken again.
5 out of 5 stars (for #23 and the whole run in general)

NOTE: If you want to read Williams amazing run you need issues #9.1-#23. So far this has been collected in, "Daken: Dark Wolverine: Big Break (issues #9.1-12) and "Daken: Dark Wolverine: The Pride Comes Before The Fall (#13-19). I believe the last book is called, "Lost Weekend (#20-23). Trust me, you should read them, even if you don't know squat about Daken. You really don't need to know much about him to enjoy these.

Rant-Reviews--2 Marvel, 2 DC, 1 Image, and I Have Multiple Digressions

Various comics to demolish.
I've got Mister Terrific #8, Uncanny X-Men #10, Aquaman #7, Avengers Versus X-Men #1, and America's Got Powers #1. The second comic and last are good, the rest...let's discuss.

Mister Terrific #8
I liked this series at some points, but in this last issues it jams in characters from another comic I haven't ever read about (Blackhawks, which got cancelled too, natch). Then this rushes to its close and is otherwise like starting on a good drug trip and then coming down hard. This, "last issue," isn't even really a last issue because its sets up our main character in a new DC series starting up in a bit. I have no interest in reading the new series because it takes place on, "Earth 2," and I get enough mileage out of the main DC earth where apparently your comic can be cancelled and then start sucking after a good first 5 issues, before then randomly tying in to something else. God bless America.
1.5 out of 5 stars.

Uncanny X-Men #10
This is pretty much just a big fight scene and some talking, but the person who does the talking is a creepy robot from the short-lived S.W.O.R.D. series once done by the man who is also writing this series. Yes, Gillen brought over the eerie, "Unit," whom he was never able to utilize because Marvel strangled that old series in the crib. This means we get to see people fighting, enjoy some catchy dialogue, and have a subplot develop--even if it is a plot that starts to set up the ever-so-unneeded Avengers Versus X-Men.

This is the kind of comic I like, but yet the people of the world come together and instead plan for comics where they fuck-over creators like Alan Moore by taking a cool story he did a long time ago and trying to get as much cash as they can out of it. Seriously, Before Watchmen is something I continue to lose more and more interest in of the minimal amount I had. That doesn't relate to this review other than to point out that for all the times I'm pissed at Marvel they still can put out some quality material like this when they aren't too busy letting Bendis write all his character's dialogue the same in the countless Avengers books--and at least they aren't grubbing money as openly as DC at this moment. I heard a rumor Bendis could be doing X-Men titles like this. I really hope not considering the man just can't do team books (Digression 1 complete).
3.5 out of 5 stars.

Aquaman #7
This is the issue where we introduce a Muslim character and proceed to brutally murder her. Diversity, everyone! Also Aquaman was apparently on some other team and his old arch-nemesis Black Manta is around in this new DC trying to gather artifacts from Atlantis. Do you hear that? It's the sound of me being more disappointed that Geoff Johns made an empty gesture at multiculturalism with his female Muslim character and then killed her off than being interested in much of anything else here.
2 out of 5 stars.

Avengers Versus X-Men/AVX #1
This has a bunch of writers because they are all working together, but it is clearly being mainly done this issue by Bendis because of how the dialogue sounds. He just writes everyone the same in that supposedly, "punchy," style of talking. John Romita Jr. provides some decent art and...look, everyone on the internet has pointed out regardless of reviews people are going to buy this, and that's good because this isn't very enjoyable. It's a bunch of characters talking about the Phoenix energy and then getting ready to fight right as the issue ends. Wow, how exciting, let me put on an adult diaper because I have nearly messed myself with exuberance! Really though, if it weren't for the art this would just have been wretched. I'm not buying any tie-ins for this besides comics I already read that happen to tie-in.

Seriously, what is with all the tie-ins to events? Either we have the main comics do it which means regular series get interrupted, or random mini-series are produced of low quality. Who really reads most tie-ins  (Digression 2 Complete).
2 out of 5 stars (barely, thanks to the nice enough art).

America's Got Powers
Jonathan Ross here is writing what is kind of a Mark Millar comic is Millar went a little lighter on the cynicism and put in a bit more wonder. Oh, and if Millar no longer sucked since Ultimates 2. I don't mention Ultimates 2 casually, as this has the same artist as that in the form of Bryan Hitch, doing a decent-if-still-clearly-photo-referencing-his-art job. This has some interesting ideas about the government and what it would do to control a small super-powered population, and there are some cute jabs at reality T.V. but thank God that isn't the real focus. No, the focus is more a coming-of-age tale of a young man who doesn't have powers but should due to his exposure to an energy we learn about at the start of the comic. Try as the comic might to be dark and bitter as if it were by Millar, it puts in just enough sweetness and hope that it actually is enjoyable and good.

Really, what happened to Mark Millar? the man was making some quality comics and now everything seems to just be movie pitches loaded with annoying racism and pointless over-the-top bits where he's trying to shock us but really can't. Millar is like that kid who wants to shock everyone with the gross stuff he eats or the dangerous stunts he pulls, but really we're all just embarrassed. It used to be cool, but now its just kind of sad (Digression 3 Complete).

 I actually really, really liked this comic more than I even thought I would and don't have much in the way of snark to throw at it--even though it could be pointed out it is pretty predictable there is more to our un-powered-person than meets the eye, but so goes the standard story formula. Also, as the said the art is decent but Hitch clearly based his Senator character's design on Sarah Palin's face and it is really distracting. Those are nit-picks in a pretty great comic however. Plus, it's double-sized for just $2.99. Now that's a bonus.
4.5 out of 5 stars.

Woop, there it was.
We laughed, we cried, we read some comics and I had a good amount of rambling-on about stuff. Go about your day now.