The Groundhog known as Punxsutawney Phil did not see his shadow
|"I will eat your soul!"|
. This means we are due for an early Spring if he actually could predict the weather, which he cannot. He is right maybe 40% of the time, so a little less accurate than weather forecasters who I think are about 50% accurate for 10-day forecasts and up to 80% accurate for a couple days of advance forecasting. I like Groundhog Day as a fun little holiday, but put no actual stock in Phil's abilities and actually have a personal beef with him. You see, I used to have his job until it was stolen from me by that buck-toothed jerk.
Back in the day, I would wake up on February 2nd to find a large man in a top hat at my door. He would hoist me up by the scruff of my neck (keep in mind I'm naked this whole time) and carry me outside to a large crowd who would cheer as they awaited the news of if I saw my shadow or not. The man would lift me above a tree stump and refuse to let go until I declared if I saw my shadow. After I would say, "Yeah, I see it," or, "No, I do not," he would release me, at which point I'd scurry back into my house in search of some breakfast and pants. It sounds stupid, but I'm being silly to illustrate how we are literally just grabbing some animal out of a burrow and guessing about the weather--it is as accurate as if I run outside with my junk flapping in the breeze and yell-out whether I see my shadow or not too.
|Thes things are really chunky.|
Joking aside, this is a cute holiday as long as we remember this is just for fun and not a truthful weather forecast. I'll still never forgive Phil for taking that job from me though, it paid pretty well. I didn't get cash but was given a pretty good daily supply of Snickers bars and Dr. Pepper. At least I still have my other secret job as the tooth fairy's bookkeeper. Somebody's gotta keep track of those molars.
Post a Comment