Friday, September 21, 2018

I Called Numerous Comic-Book Shops Today and Asked About Batman's Penis

I called many comic-book shops today and asked them about Batman's penis. No, I did not do this as part of a prank, or to get a raunchy thrill. I did this because the first issue of, "Batman: Damned," was released Wednesday and has, ever-so-slightly illustrated, the penis of Bruce Wayne (in a few of the comic's panels). "Batman: Damned," is part of a new line I've talked about before, DC's alternate-reality, "Black Label," books that are geared toward grown-up readers who can handle unedited swear words and apparently witnessing Batman's penis. It's kind of like Marvel Max and Elseworlds combined, I guess. Anyways, the book is out, seems to be pretty good, and in the print version lets us observe what kind of weaponry Batman is packing below his utility-belt, if just barely. The book also is really hot for a couple reasons.

Apparently the digital version of, "Batman: Damned," hides Bruce Wayne's member in further shadows than it already is drawn in, and all future printings in both single-issue form or trade paperback will have the genitals obscured this way. This is kind of silly considering how often comics have barely-clothed or completely-undressed female characters, but I guess it is up to DC to portray Batman as naked or dressed-up as they desire. Therefore, if you really want even a glimpse of Batman's penis you need to hurry to a comic-shop as the book is now selling-out and going for well above cover-price on eBay. I wanted to acquire a copy of the comic, so I had to call a variety of comic-shops and ask if they had, "The new Batman comic where we see his penis," because simply stating the title alone didn't help considering how many countless Batman series there are (but if I specified I was after that book, stores knew right away what I was talking about). Finally I found a shop that had some books left and look forward to picking up an issue in the near future when I'm able to run to the store--they were kind enough to hold onto a copy for me. 
To their credit, the shops were all very tickled about how popular the book has become and some would even joke about how, "We've seen Batman's dick for years," in reference to his longtime sidekick, Dick Grayson, which is kind of a funny joke the first time you hear it but gets old the 5th time you listen to it or read it. I'm just pleased I get to own this notable comic, the first time we see Batman's penis (outside of non-DC-authorized works such as fan-art and porn-parodies), and I'll proudly display it with my other special books. Yes, between my first-print copy of the death of Captain America and the first solo Moon Knight story in, "Marvel Spotlight," will be, "Batman: Damned," #1, the first (official) comic-appearance of the Bat-wang!

1 comment:

  1. 🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆😀😁😂🤣😃😄😅😆🙈🙈