I Hate a Lot of Today's Music, Am I A Cranky Old Man?

I just used a "Simpsons," meme a few posts ago, but this is too perfect.

I am hip, happening, and, "With it," right? I'm only 28 years-old and follow popular-culture closely, after all...but even if I know what stuff is am I actually a cranky hater for despising so much of today's music? There is stuff I like a good amount, but God, I hate a lot of stuff these days. I can't stand Rhianna and her ability to ruin any song, the Chain Smokers have earned my wrath before, 21 Pilots absolutely sucks, Migos are sub-par, Alessia Cara's songs are hot garbage, Nicki Minaj and her shtick was better when Little Kim was doing it, Future and his raps sound like a someone stuffed their mouth full of peanut butter, and Daya has some songs that are bearable but I'd be perfectly happy if she just disappeared.

Oh, and Fergie can burn in the Hell for taking the Black Eyed Peas and essentially turning them from an interesting independent Rap group to producing tons of pop-slosh. Also, Lorde is simply annoying, Calvin Harris makes dumb faux-house songs, Desiigner is pretty bad, Sia sounds like an animal howling in pain, and...you know what, I'll just stop here right now because otherwise this post may never end with me discussing all of today's popular music I can't stand.

I mean, I don't hate everything new. I reviewed an assortment of albums with good stuff recently, I enjoy Bruno Mars, Ariana Grande can be fun, Ed Sheeran is pleasant, J. Cole is decent, that, "ISPY," song by a new artist named Kyle is delightful, Miley Cyrus has a legitimately good voice when she isn't trying to just be shocking, and I of course am a humongous fan of Kendrick Lamar (plus, I keep praying for a new OutKast album, someday). Maybe I am not a cranky old man and I'm just more picky about my music than when I was younger and liked stuff that now in retrospect maybe kind of sucked (but I wouldn't admit it then)?

Yeah, I'm not out-of-touch, I'm truthfully just well-aware of what is good and what is bad, I have strong opinions and oh dear God I'm sounding just like a crotchety elder who yells at kids to get off his lawn before complaining to anyone who will listen (or pretend to listen) that back in my day popular-culture was good. Then again, maybe back then popular-culture was better, today's stuff just sucks, right? Damn-it, I just sound like an old man again, dab-nabbit.

Wait, I've figured it out. There is no way I can win at this. No matter what I say it'll sound like an older person complaining because I am a bit older (28 in Earth-years and many more in spirit it seems), and I'm complaining. Regardless of if something new is actually awesome or terrible my criticism can just be written-off by the young-folk as some old guy who is out-of-touch. I mean, when I was a preteen or teenager I wouldn't want to listen to some adult telling me my music sucked, even if it did.

There is currently new music that in fact is awful, and new music that is good. Depending on a lot of stuff a person's reactions to music will vary. That is the objective fact of the matter, and I now realize everything else is just purely subjective and down to life experiences, personal tastes, and yes, my age. I both am and am not a cranky old man just as you youth both are and are not mindless consumers who buy whatever crap the big companies shovel at you and claim is edgy and good (don't get mad, I said you are and aren't). There is no way I can win at this just as there is no way I can lose, we all just have different tastes. I feel better about all this now, actually. Oh, and get the Hell off my lawn.