Rant-Reviews--The Pieces of the Stories We Tell

Not Whole, Yet Still Important Pieces

Comic-books are of course telling a story. The thing is, unless the book is either a complete graphic novel or a one-shot these stories are often spread-out over various issues. Then, when it comes to super-hero stories it could be argued that often one big epic story is being told that stretches back decades to when a character first appeared. This got me to thinking about how some of the comics I was reading tell stories that are maybe not whole, but pieces. The question therefore becomes if these pieces of stories are enjoyable or suffer from the fractured-into-issues nature of comic-books. Let's examine some comics to explore that concept now with ongoing titles and mini-series.

Story Segments

Island #3

This comic anthology spearheaded by the fascinating writer-artist Brandon Graham is now on its 3rd issue and proving interesting in that stories have appeared in the debut and second issue that won't be followed-up until later and there are the beginnings of storylines here where the next part may not be seen until we get up to the 7th issue. It's a bit overwhelming in that I worry I will utterly forget one story before it comes back and find myself scratching my head at just what exactly is going on. 

The comic itself is perfectly fine and jam-packed with comics and think-pieces that are all at least interesting, with some being especially attention-grabbing. The "Ancestor," comic creates an ominous tone with its characters so used to being plugged-in to technology suddenly being disconnected from it and finding themselves in a potential great danger. The things is, I won't know what happens next until issue five so that kind of stinks. Still, all the content you get for eight bucks makes for a pretty solid read and one I am enjoying even if the disjointed nature of when stories appear could become a bigger concern as the comic proceeds.

3 out of 5 stars.

Plutona #2
This is the second issue of what will apparently be a five-issue mini-series written by the talented (and generally pleasing-to-read) Jeff Lemire and illustrated by Emi Lenox. It is interesting in that it kind of takes the big macro-sized world of super-heroes and gives us a perception of how that looks from the micro-level of some kids who live out in the suburbs. This is a bit like other titles that adopt the, "Street-view," of regular folk when it comes to seeing powered beings, but with the interesting twist in this one is that it is a bunch of teenagers who have found the apparently quite-dead body of  super-hero Plutona.

The first issue of the comic gave us a pretty solid introduction to the characters and ended with the cliffhanger of them finding Plutona dead in the woods. This issues picks-up from there as they argue about what should be done with/for Plutona; there is also a back-up strip written and illustrated by Jeff Lemire that is filling us in on just what happened to Plutona that resulted in her death. The 2nd part of the comic reads as a standard super-hero story--but that is clearly intentional with the main content reading so differently.

If it weren't for the fact this is actually going to just be five issues I would express concern that this is reading as a super decompressed ongoing considering how the 2nd issue is almost nothing but the characters standing around in the forest arguing. Knowing that things will be wrapped-up after five issues however makes me think that Lemire knows what he's doing and even if things feel a bit sluggish in this second issue I see some intriguing elements at play for sure.
3.5 out of 5 stars.

The Surface #4
As I discuss stories and how comics give them to us in a fragmented way it is worth pointing out how some yarns do conclude. This is the last issue of a mini-series written by Ales Kot and he goes full-on meta here, essentially dropping the plot of the first three issues to discuss how they've been one big metaphor for some difficult parts of his life--from the death of family members to the struggle of when he wrote his popular break-out success comic, "Change." This issue has him looking directly at us, the reader, and speaking to us whilst asking the comic's illustrator, Langdon Foss to draw certain things.

It reads as extremely personal and is almost uncomfortable to witness, as if we broke into Kot's own personal journal and gave it a read-through. We watch Kot as he's angry, crying, and most importantly, forgiving himself and those around him who repeatedly let him down. Kot really puts himself out there on the page (both literally and figuratively) and I think it is admirable that he does so.

It is worth discussing how even if this story has ended, in some ways it hasn't. This is because the comic is story of life and how we live it--as well as how we are remembered by other people once our own existence ends (if I'm interpreting the comic correctly, that is). This all results in a stellar comic that takes a series which was confusing to me at first, but upon pulling-back and revealing just how wide in scope it is concludes wonderfully.
5 out of 5 stars.

Mercury Heat #4

Writer of the comic Kieron Gillen is of course especially known for his work with Jamie Mckelvie on, "The Wicked and the Divine," but has also done work for Avatar Press on multiple occasions, with the recently wrapped mega-arc of, "Uber," being a particularly interesting title by him. "Uber will return at the end of the year but until then we have had the very enjoyable-so-far first arc of, "Mercury Heat," which is about as far removed from the glum nature of, "Uber," as a comic can be, completely unlike it in any respect except for the extreme violence.

Set in the future where due to personality profiles people can find it difficult to get a job they want, "Mercury Heat," follows a borderline psychopath Luiza who finds that the only way she can be a police officer is for the wild west-ish region of Mercury and the spaceships located around the planet. Luiza at first read to me as kind of flat and one-dimensonal but over the initial issues has turned into someone surprisingly easy to empathize with in her desire to want to do good things and help others--although in the process of her doing so a lot of folk get beat-up. I actually like reading this serialized as I feel sitting down and reading a whole trade paperback of, "Mercury Heat," might be a bit much for me, but occasional doses of this over-the-top story suit me well.

"Mercury Heat," is a fun piece of science-fiction with a lot of action and a bit of thoughtfulness about examining nature versus nurture (between its explosions of machinery and blood). I would recommend giving this title a read if you enjoy Gillen's work and desire to see him really cutting loose.

4 out of 5 stars.

Conclusions

Comics are fun in their serialization as even prose stories used to be done that way it is not seen as often now-- I mean, besides in book-series about particular characters (your Harry Potters and Jack Ryans), but I'm discussing how in the old days novels would be published chapter-by-chapter. Sometimes the way comics are released can irritate a reader if they really want to know what happens next and they have to wait, and other times it works well, allowing a fan of something to enjoy a burst of it, then take a break before returning for more.

Thoughts on the Card Game Funemployed

Good Fun

I think the creators of Funemployed are probably sick of their game being compared to Cards Against Humanity--even if a variety of those comparisons proclaim their game better. That said, I'm gonna compare it, so here we go...

 I do quite enjoy Cards Against Humanity (CAH) but have always been a bit let down there isn't more room for player-improvisation. There is some chance of that, but its minimal. Another thing about Cards Against Humanity is that is is terribly politically incorrect, and joyous about doing so. The thing is, when you're offensive just for the sake of offense it can wear thin quickly, and while I do quite enjoy Cards Against Humanity, if I had to play it everyday that would get old. Now, if I played Funemployed everyday however, I would be okay with that.

The idea of Funemployed is that you have one player of the group who sits out (as with CAH) and a job card is put on the table listing a position that can range from something as potentially raunchy as, "Porn Star," to more the more mellow "Lawyer." From that each individuals gets various cards listing qualifications. These qualifications say things that can vary from reasonable to absurd and horrible--but when the qualification cards don't match well with the potential job is when it gets really interesting.

You see, a person gets their qualification cards randomly and depending on how everyone is playing someone can trade a few out or is stuck with their hand. From this point they have a short period of time to think of a speech and then they say their monologue to the person sitting out and after everyone speaks the person with the best speech is deemed the winner of that round. After a number of rounds a winner is crowned, but as with CAH it is more about the fun of playing as opposed to actually coming out on top.

The twist that makes all this extra fun is that a player has to be creative and take the random cards they are given to make a presentation of sorts that could be as polite or dirty as they want. Now, the caveat applies that if someone feels they aren't creative or gets nervous about public speaking (even if it is just some friends) than a game can go horribly. However, you get some folk to just have relaxed fun and it can be hilarious.

Thanks to how it requires not just shocking cards but also a modicum of creativity, I would say Funemployed is a card game that can easily be enjoyed by anyone, and if you really want to make things wild you can always mix in some of your CAH cards--I would call it, "Cards Against Employment," or something like that. Should you want to learn more or buy a copy for yourself Urban Island Games is the creator and their page for Funemployed can be found here, with Funemployed also being purchasable on Amazon--with a fun "Seasonal" expansion pack available too!

What Do You Call a Joke Taken Too Far? The Trump Campaign for the Presidency/Republican Desperation

Donald Trump is a blowhard moron who cares more about the Trump brand than actually being President. I and many others seem to realize this, but he's still actually winning in terms of the Republican Nomination. Yes, it has been pointed out by the media his poll numbers are dropping, but he's still number one among GOP contenders. This is terrifying because the idea of Trump actually becoming President is like a joke taken too far.

It is interesting to say its a bad jokes, because two media sources I enjoy made a similar comment. Pete Davidson on Saturday Night Live says it well with his statement that, "America needs to stop doing things 'cause its funny," as shown in this clip here.

Davidson delivered a quite solid monologue on all this madness.

Davidson has a solid point, and it is one that, "South Park" riffed on in its 2nd episode of its new season with a Donald Trump-looking dictator taking over as Prime Minister and making that country so awful that citizens flood into the U.S.--because when the time came to actually be serious about their election it was too late. This results in my hoping it isn't too late now because it's depressing to think so many people seriously support Trump and that others (myself included) wrote him off as a little more than an absurd fluke with little chance of gaining traction...but now here we are.

I suppose some of this desperation comes from how the Republican party is eating itself alive with moderates either being forced-out or abandoning ship while extremist branches cause schisms-within-schisms to the point where we've got Tea Parties, Freedom Parties, and who-knows-what-else. At this point it is looking like it either has to be Trump or a former neurosurgeon who despite being extremely intelligent also believes in whacked-out conspiracy theories, claims evolution is a concept created by Satan, and thinks kindergarten teachers should carry guns around the classroom--because kids never accidentally get their hands on a gun and cause an accident (he said sarcastically).

This man is a medical genius,
so why does he say such stupid stuff to appeal to voters?
Oh...to appeal to voters.

Between Trump, Carson, or anyone else who can manage to rise above the noise and gain a nomination as the GOP candidate one thing has become abundantly clear, the Republican Party is desperate for anyone who can theoretically beat Hilary Clinton (or should that campaign fall apart for some reason, Bernie Sanders, although at this point I'm thinking it is more likely he could possibly get a VP nod). It really has become one big joke taken too far to think Trump could be President, but I have to be honest and admit that all these people acting like it's a reasonable idea have me terrified.

I suppose time will tell what happens next. I just hope all the jokes about a world where Trump is President of the United States and it becomes a desolate wasteland don't turn out to be prophetic.

DC has an Actual Comic Crossover Event with KFC's Colonel Sanders and this Universe Officially Just Got Really Weird

What?

It seems at the big ol' comic-convention in New York City people will be able to pick-up an actual physical copy of a comic that features DC superheroes such as The Flash (and his villians!) interacting with not one, but two versions of Colonel Sanders of KFC fame. Apparently riffing on the concept of how we first saw the DC multiverse decades ago with, "The Flash of Two Worlds," we get to witness, "The Colonel of Two Worlds." You can also get it free online as of October 8th from Comixology.

This is extremely bizarre. I mean, KFC did put out a Colonel Sanders comic back in July for SDCC, but that was just a cute little and weird marketing stunt. This is a big and weird marketing stunt that involves not just the fast-food chicken company, but one of the biggest comic publishers around. It feels more like a bizarre effort to grab headlines than it does seem like an actual desire to boost sales for either company. I mean, considering I just dedicated this whole post to the topic I guess it has succeeded. Still, a Universe such as ours in which this happens is a very weird one indeed.

Rage of Ultron--A Sort-of Tie-In to a Movie Which is Nothing Like the Movies

New Readers Need Not Apply

Hey, remember when that popular, "Age of Ultron," movie came out? Yeah, you may also recall that there had been a comic-event of the same name but with a drastically different plot. To fix this issue, Marvel released an original graphic novel  at the start of April titled, "Rage of Ultron," that helps viewers of the movie by being...completely unlike the movies and actually apparently set after an event (Secret Wars) currently going on, making my review not outdated but actually from the future, kinda. Okay?

Yes, it seems after, "Secret Wars," the Marvel Universe is jumping ahead another eight months in its continuity, and, "Rage of Ultron," takes place during that gap. I guess the idea was to lure in fans of the Marvel movies and the latest, "Avengers," flick with Ultron, but I think most folk reading this OGN who have no knowledge of the comics will find it indecipherable.

"Sabertooth dressed like Wolverine? What?"
AKA
What most readers of the comic who just follow the movies will say.

We have a Thor who is a lady (still a mystery woman when the book came out, but we now know her identity is Thor's on-again-off-again girlfriend Jane Foster), The Falcon is Captain America, Hank Pym features heavily in the comic talking about how he created Ultron even though fans of the movies know Tony Stark as Ultron's, "Father," and Hank Pym as the nice old man played by Michael Douglas. Oh, and Sabertooth is basically there as an apropos Wolverine and no one explains why (it was that "Axis" event Remender also wrote) There are references to other Marvel comics, from some, "Secret Avengers," business that this novel's writer, Rick Remender, did a bit ago with robots, to the Wasp talking about living in another dimension (that was from when Bendis did "New Avengers" most recently, I think).

I haven't even discussed the comic's quality yet--and it's a perfectly decent story with some stellar art--but I just think it is worth discussing that for a comic meant to catch the attention of folk excited about the movie-version of Ultron this comic fails on an epic scale when it comes to being new-reader-friendly. That established, let's discuss the comic itself.

Beautiful Art, Passable Story

Jerome Opeña is a fantastic artist, there is simply no doubt about that. Rick Remender can be a great writer (just look at "Fear Agent" or his time on "Venom"), that much is clear. That said, you can hear this story groan under the weight on continuity from all the aforementioned plot-points and struggle to tell an admittedly interesting story about concepts of humanity and technology (and how they combine).

It sadly is presented in a bit of a manner that is black-and-white where Hank Pym's argument against evil AI comes off as a jerk-ish viewpoint and the Vison's claims that a robot is just as human as anyone seeming more legitimate. It seems a really out of character for Pym, because most other times I've seen him, he usually is a bit more warm towards robots--I mean, the man led a robotic team of Avengers recently in, "Avengers: AI." It really reads like Remender needed to give Pym a, "Redemption," arc to his story and did it by writing him as horribly off-kilter at first before making him resemble the Pym we know and love (well, some folk love him and others despise the guy).

These is discussion about how Vision came from Ultron,
so that is at least kind of like the movies these books are riffing on.

The overall plot is how we see Ultron and Pym fighting in the past and Ultron appearing in the present to attempt and take-out his Father before Pym successfully stops him by having their psyches and forms become one...or something, its unclear. The ending is a bit of an anti-climax with Pymtron (I think I came up with that) running off disgusted at what he's becoming and hibernating in space only to return next time a comic-event or movie tie-in the story calls for it.

Were it not for the fact that Jerome Opeña is an absolute beast when it comes to artwork this would be a generally average book. Thanks to him though this is a pretty good time. I checked it out from my local library (those are really handy) so I didn't feel like I wasted my time, but had I bought this full-price I might have felt a little different. My suggestion is to give it a read if you have the chance, but only actually buy it if you really love Opeña's artwork or obsesses about Ultron a bunch.
3 out of 5 stars.

That Horrible Pre-Order Scam for "Deus Ex: Mankind Divded" Is Cancelled!

Hooray!

When I read that the pre-order scheme for, "Deus Ex: Mankind Divided," which I relentlessly mocked at the start of September, had been cancelled, I simply thought, "Oh thank God." Apparently fan demand for such an atrocious thing to not occur convinced the publisher, Square-Enix, to just give folk who pre-order the game all the goodies they, "Deserve." I put the word deserve in quotation marks because pre-ordering games is a foolish endeavor and one I quit doing long ago upon seeing it only led to awful, awful things.

So yes, this is good news. Now stop pre-ordering games, as sites besides me will tell you too.

$4.99 Should Really Not Be a New Price Point for Comics

This is Worrisome

There have been folk noticing that certain comics from Marvel are jumping up to $4.99 in a trend reminiscent of how some comics went to $3.99 with the standard number of story pages and a back-up strip before eventually losing the back-up strips and just costing $3.99 (a trick both Marvel and DC pulled some years back). That of course was followed by almost all the comics then becoming $3.99.

This has led to theorizing we could see average-length comics for $4.99 before too long. If you're something besides a big event such as "Secret Wars" #9 or a few other cases what I do say to such a proposal? No, just no.

Seriously, there are many interesting-looking comics I don't buy because even just $3.99 is just too steep a price-point for me when something that costs 4 bucks after taxes takes me all of 10 minutes to read if its mostly splash-pages. I know, I know, I should take my time and savor the artwork in a comic, but sometimes you just breeze through those suckers if the art is okay and the writing is minimal.

Now, I'm not utterly opposed to a $4.99 comic if I feel I'm getting my money's worth. Give me a 72-page magnum opus or even a meaty 48 pages and I'll be pleased (I even don't mind the $7.99 price-point for "Island", but that's basically a massive monthly graphic novel anthology). That, or you could look at the current "Providence" comic coming out from Alan Moore and Jacen Burrows which has a very detailed regular comic and then a great deal of prose back-matter that results in those five dollars lasting me a good hour in terms of time spent reading the book (and it is simply 40 pages or so each issue between the illustrated parts and prose sections).

The idea of Marvel or DC taking more (or all) of their books to $4.99 just absolutely disgusts me and even if the new relaunch of "Howard the Duck" (yes, the 2nd this year) is going to include a, "Gwenpool," back-up I'm seriously considering just not picking it up. "Howard the Duck" has tended to be a super-solid comic, but I don't know if this whole Gwenpool business of taking Spider-Gwen and Deadpool then mashing them up into a single character is going to have much in the way of staying power or entertainment value. I suppose time will tell and I should at least try the first issue of the new series, but I'm definitely wary.

This isn't just a concern with Marvel and DC either. I could picture some smaller publishers raising prices because it is admittedly harder for the smaller folk to turn a profit, and $3.99 or $3.50 has kind of become the standard price-point for a comic with a few lower-priced exceptions--and when something is only $2.99 that does in fact greatly increase the chance I may buy it and give it a read. That said, when the day comes a 24 page comic is $4.99 that is the day you can basically guarantee I ain't buying that book no matter what. Oh, and let's not even discuss $5.99 as a price-point for anything less than a solid 72 pages or so.

Double Take's "Genesis" Pack of Their 10 Debut Comics is Overwhelmingly Medicore--A Review of Each Book

What is Double Take and What are their Ultimate Night of the Living Dead Comics About?

Many people who follow comics have heard of Bill Jemas. The controversial former EIC of Marvel, Jemas had a hand in some unique and amazing things coming about and some truly awful stuff too (just think of "Marville"). Jemas disappeared for awhile and worked on translating the bible as well as other endevors. Then he joined Take Two, better known for their video-games and it came about they were working on something comic-related.

It turned out these comics were to be set in the public-domain Universe of, "Night of the Living Dead," yet were to also have no one from the film associated with the endeavor. That results in this already having an air of fan-fiction about it, as instead of an original idea we have a scene I can imagine going as such...

Executive 1: We make video-games and want to get into comics, what do we do?

Executive 2: Well, Zombies are popular, how about that?

Executive 1: That's genius! I don't want us wasting time coming up with a new idea that could fail, but I also don't want pay for the license to anything.

Executive 2: Well, its kind of a fluke but the original, "Night of the Living Dead," is actually in the Public Domain. As long as we were to only draw from that particular movie we could set our story there.

Executive 1: You're on fire today! Shared-universes are a hot new thing too, and if we want to make this into action-figures, television shows, movies, and obviously games we ought to make a bunch of these. Let's do that and get someone with a bit of a, "Name," in the comic's industry to be involved and make this look better than a cheap attempt to make a quick buck.

Executive 2: No one would take my calls except for Bill Jemas.

Executive 1: Hire him, and then get ready for your promotion!

At least the covers look moderately cool.

So here we are now, with these books that link to the first movie as everything else is protected by copyright. In order to make it more of an, "Event," all 10 first issues were released rogether a bit over a week ago. Available for separate purchase or as a part of a, "Genesis," pack, I have found it an interesting turn of events in that I actually haven't seen much in the way of reviews of the titles. I've seen a book here or there discussed, but I figured it would make sense to give each book a bit of a review, as if these turned out to be great people should know, and if they are terrible folk should be forewarned.

So, How Are the Comics?
Well, it turns out the comics are actually overwhelmingly mediocre, with some a bit better and others much worse, but in general these are below-average in terms of any enjoyment. I now present my thoughts on each of the 10 comics and then some overall opinions. Now, in alphabetical order:

Dedication #1
This is one of the comics that appears to be going for a horror-comedy vibe but instead just has jokes that fall horribly flat. As the ghouls (they are never called zombies) break into a grocery store the staff reacts at how they eat various objects in a silly fashion. This issue also starts the trend of us seeing a single character give a bizarre and random monologue to another individual (or a small group) where they tell us something about their past that seems to not really relate at all to what is going on. Oh, and the art in this one is pretty bland with the ghouls looking no different from regular characters, really.
2 out of 5 stars.

Home #1
This was probably the worst of all the books. It has a little girl character who seems to have everything she say be an insult or swear, but none of the other characters notice at all. It's kind of like how a variety of characters seem to not understand the threats made by Stewie on, "Family Guy," but unlike that show, nothing the girl says is particularly funny or makes her seem endearing. She just reads like a really mean kid and the so-called, "Joke," of how she's saying terrible things yet nobody understands wears out its welcome quickly. Assuming they keep this going in the future issues I can only picture this comic getting worse.
1 out of 5 stars.

Honor #1
Another comic with a character telling a rambling story, the police pulling a man over for speeding, an old guy running his tractor too fast and dying...and that's it. The art in this issue is abominable too and the only thing this comic really has going for it is the old joke about how a 68 is when, "I owe you one."
1.5 out of 5 stars.

Medic #1
This issue has the same, "Attempted horror-comedy," vibe but again struggles at it, and throws in a weird monologue by a doctor operating on a patient where he describes when he tried to get lucky with a girl but failed at it. I suppose that plot-point makes a little more sense here to have a kind of, "Death and sex," motif, but it still just seems to be a weirdly pointless monologue (and there are still more to discuss with us only half-way through these comics). The art is bearable here and one joke at least made me laugh with a man who wouldn't quit whining about his toe whilst other people are dying, so this is at least so-so in quality.
2 out of 5 stars.

Remote #1
Focusing on the radio station in town this is again an attempt at horror-comedy that fails miserably. The art here is pretty bad too and the only thing I recall is that we see a competent lady at the radio station alerting the town to the danger it faces while her boss chills by the pool with a bunch of women miles away. Dull, dull, dull.
1.5 out of 5 stars.

Rise #1
This one takes a big plot element from the start of, "Night of the Living Dead," and changes it. Barbara is of course a  main character in the original movie and her brother, Johnny, dies at the start. This issue asks, "What if Johnny didn't die, however?" and has him wake back up and rescue Barbara from near the end of the original move whilst they escape into the forest. There is a lot of silence in this issue except for when it also looks over to Washington D.C. with the scenes from the flick where it is discussed how the Venus Probe gave off radiation (a plot element attributed to causing the ghouls in many people's opinion, but also something I read the director of the original movie, George A. Romero, regretted putting in there as he preferred to have it be a mystery how the dead began to walk). As I was reading the issues in alphabetical order I found this one to be the first that was at least purely average in its mixture of plot, intrigue, and the like.
2.5 out of 5 stars.

Slab #1
Were it not for the incredibly twisted-seeming doctor in this issue who briefs people on the danger of the zombies (and has done a few experiments on the living cadavers too) this would be yet another dull first issue of the Double Take books. Thanks to him this issue actually reads with a darkly humorous tone that compliments the feelings of horror and results in another issue that thankfully isn't awful, if still lacking in too much enjoyment
2.5 out of 5 stars.

Soul #1
Similar to, "Rise," in that this comic more directly ties-in with the film, "Soul" features Ben surviving getting shot-at in the conclusion of the movie and we witness him trying to get his bearings. It riffs on some ideas about how the media would portray the zombie outbreak as well as touches briefly on the politics of what happens, but otherwise mostly is present to help recap some of the events of the movie. The art is actually decent in this issue too even if there is minimal plot. Perhaps one big element is that I already like Ben greatly as a character because I saw him in the movies and that makes him automatically more easy to relate to than other characters.
2 .5 out of 5 stars.

Spring #1
The shifting first-person viewpoints in this issue starts out as an idea that seems kind of fun, but then just gets confusing. It makes for an issue that is hard to follow and seems to basically be nothing more than a bunch of foreshadowing as folk down at the lake start disappearing--probably to later reemerge at zombies. It's a wholly unimpressive example of more pointless monologues, weak art, and otherwise being a bad comic.
1.5 out of 5 stars.

Z-Men #1
This issue shows how the U.S. Government reacted to the zombie outbreak, namely taking agents who weren't the best but competent enough to be sent out in the field. I suppose the idea here is to show how the United States grossly underestimated the ghouls and that led to the inevitable end of society that futures issues may show. This issue thankfully doesn't have any endless monologues and the art is passable, so unlike some of the other titles this was at least bearable.
2 out of 5 stars.

Overall Conclusions

Bland  as oatmeal without any fixings.

The issues that I enjoyed the most were the ones that either directly related to the movie ("Rise" and "Soul") or were able to get the horror-comedy premise to work ("Slab"). I still found it all to be pretty bland and otherwise unimpressive. I can honestly state that I do not have the desire to purchase any second issues, and that is kind of sad to say that this new publisher batted a 0 out of 10 with me. While I wish Double Take and their Ultimate Night of the Living Dead the best, I won't be purchasing their wares anytime in the immediate future.

One Sentence Summaries...of Popular Songs!

Wait, for Music?

I've done my one sentence summaries of comic-books before on multiple occasions, but I've wanted to discuss music more on the blog (and have been doing so!) and thought it could be fun to create some summaries about my thoughts on various popular songs you can find on the radio/pandora/etc. right now.

Let's Get to Summarizing!
"679" by Fetty Wap
It seems all of Fetty Wap's songs involve either talking about making drugs or bragging that he is really, really good at sex...so basically this song is like the majority of rap music today but at least has a super-catchy beat.

"Wildest Dreams" by Taylor Swift
It pisses me off I used to hate Taylor Swift but now find this and, "Blank Space," to be really catchy.

"Love Myself" by Hailee Steinfeld
I'm not sure if this is an inoffensively dull pop song about loving yourself, or a more interesting slightly raunchy riff on, "Loving yourself."

"Honey, I'm Good" Andy Grammer
A song about not cheating on your loved one because they are so awesome is pretty rare in this era of jams condoning cheating on or with someone--such as the horribly grammatically incorrect, "Post to Be," rambling on about how fellas and gals should keep a close eye on their loved ones lest they stray.

"Good for You" by Selena Gomez
I feel like a woman should want to just look good for herself as opposed to any man, so even if a lady could do both as a friend told me she felt was being said, I still hate this boring song.

"Cool for the Summer" by Demi Lovato
I don't care how mainstream it is, this ditty is pretty darn catchy.

"Uma Thurman" by Fallout Boy and Wiz Khalifa
I love how the kids today act like its a new thing for rock groups and rappers to team-up.

"Flex" by Rich Homie Quan
I would comment on the lyrics in this song but Rich Homie Quan is more indecipherable than Young Thug with a mouth full of marshmellows, peanut butter, and anything else that makes it hard to speak clearly.

"Hey Mama" by David Guetta and Nicki Minaj
I truly wish Nicki Minaj would just go away.

"Watch Me" Silento
This song is so dumb but its worth it for videos of old people doing the dance.

"Know Yourself" by Drake
The melodic tune that comes in halfway through this song makes it pretty enjoyable.

"Blasé" by Ty Dolla $ign
A piece of junk song like this is emblematic of why rap music today is so awful with its mixture of non-stop bragging, insults to anyone who lacks your money or amount of women, and so forth; it is just disgusting to think only a decade or two ago rappers were putting out pure fire and inspiration and now we're stuck with this, and I know this is basically more than a sentence but I just really wanted to get across the point that other than a handful of older and new acts still around today I find myself really disappointed in rap--we need a new OutKast album now more than ever.

Summarizing Complete!
There, we are done. I realize in many of those summaries I come off as a cranky old man complaining music isn't as good as it used to be. That may be, but I still stand by my statements!

Television Tuesday: My Big Fat Fabulous Life Season Two--4 Episodes In

I've written before about my fondness for Whitney Thore and her television show on TLC, "My Big Fat Fabulous Life." Well, the 2nd season kicked off early this September with two new half-hour episodes in the first week and the week after--now we have two more 30 minute shows coming tomorrow. This leads to the question of how it has been so far, and I'm happy to report it is still a delightful program to watch!

The key to the show being so fun is that Whitney is quite easy to like, with her positive personality, outspoken attitude, and general propensity to be fun. This season the show continues its careful balance of humor and seriousness, with the premiere tackling Whitney facing her increased risk for diabetes due to her larger weight caused by Polycystic Ovary Syndrome via a mixture of tears and coming to terms with how some further dietary changes will be needed (her, "Breaking-up," with carbs was hilarious). Since that episode us viewers have gotten the usual mixture of awesomeness from her dad and Babs AKA Whitney's mother and the 2nd funniest person on the show after Whitney, plus it is always fun to see the dynamic between Whitney and best-friend and former-lover/possible future love interest, Buddy.

I am aware that this review of the show is reading a bit more like a press release than a true review, but that is because I honestly don't really have any complaints. It is a reality show that actually does a solid job of showing the "reality" of everyday life from the funny moments to the sad. If this program had anyone else besides Whitney it would probably be a much less enjoyable television program as she truly is just so darn cool, and TLC clearly knows it considering how they've been the promoting the bejeezus out of the show between its actual episodes, the internet-exclusive, "Whitney reacts to the show," pieces and reruns that throw-in a few extra scenes and tweets people sent about the episode when it first aired. In other words, TLC ain't leaving any money on the table, which is understandable as they've struck gold in someone as awesome as Whitney.

"My Big Fat Fabulous Life," continues to shine in its 2nd season so far and pulls off a unique feat for a TLC reality show in that it has someone we root for and want to succeed, as opposed to the Duggars (who were just plain hateful and had some dark secrets), or Honey Boo Boo and her family (who were made fun of relentlessly and also harbored some dark secrets). It's probably the best show on television right now and you ought to watch it, because its either that or the Cake Boss if you want someone with a TLC show who doesn't have a dark secret. I mean, the Cake Boss didn't hide the fact he got that DWI, so it was embarrassing, but not a secret. Oh, and the Sister Wives show has a family pretty open about their lifestyle, but for years they were secretive about it, so yeah, Whitney or Buddy AKA the Cake Boss.
5 out of 5 stars (for the season so far).