Wait, for Music?
Let's Get to Summarizing!
"679" by Fetty Wap
It seems all of Fetty Wap's songs involve either talking about making drugs or bragging that he is really, really good at sex...so basically this song is like the majority of rap music today but at least has a super-catchy beat.
"Wildest Dreams" by Taylor Swift
It pisses me off I used to hate Taylor Swift but now find this and, "Blank Space," to be really catchy.
"Love Myself" by Hailee Steinfeld
I'm not sure if this is an inoffensively dull pop song about loving yourself, or a more interesting slightly raunchy riff on, "Loving yourself."
"Honey, I'm Good" Andy Grammer
A song about not cheating on your loved one because they are so awesome is pretty rare in this era of jams condoning cheating on or with someone--such as the horribly grammatically incorrect, "Post to Be," rambling on about how fellas and gals should keep a close eye on their loved ones lest they stray.
"Good for You" by Selena Gomez
I feel like a woman should want to just look good for herself as opposed to any man, so even if a lady could do both as a friend told me she felt was being said, I still hate this boring song.
"Cool for the Summer" by Demi Lovato
I don't care how mainstream it is, this ditty is pretty darn catchy.
"Uma Thurman" by Fallout Boy and Wiz Khalifa
I love how the kids today act like its a new thing for rock groups and rappers to team-up.
"Flex" by Rich Homie Quan
I would comment on the lyrics in this song but Rich Homie Quan is more indecipherable than Young Thug with a mouth full of marshmellows, peanut butter, and anything else that makes it hard to speak clearly.
"Hey Mama" by David Guetta and Nicki Minaj
I truly wish Nicki Minaj would just go away.
"Watch Me" Silento
This song is so dumb but its worth it for videos of old people doing the dance.
"Know Yourself" by Drake
The melodic tune that comes in halfway through this song makes it pretty enjoyable.
"Blasé" by Ty Dolla $ign
A piece of junk song like this is emblematic of why rap music today is so awful with its mixture of non-stop bragging, insults to anyone who lacks your money or amount of women, and so forth; it is just disgusting to think only a decade or two ago rappers were putting out pure fire and inspiration and now we're stuck with this, and I know this is basically more than a sentence but I just really wanted to get across the point that other than a handful of older and new acts still around today I find myself really disappointed in rap--we need a new OutKast album now more than ever.
There, we are done. I realize in many of those summaries I come off as a cranky old man complaining music isn't as good as it used to be. That may be, but I still stand by my statements!