Friday, May 5, 2017

Article On Fancy Hands AKA Why Am I Not Good Enough For You?

So, you maybe have heard of Fancy Hands. It is a website/service where people pay a monthly fee and can get a number of tasks they post-up for random strangers to do who freelance for Fancy Hands. Perhaps someone wants to cancel their cable, make a reservation at the most popular Italian restaurant in Cleveland, book a hotel room, etc. Essentially if you are wealthy enough you can do this service to have stuff done for you that would take too much of your wealthy-person time.

Now, as I said, people can work for Fancy Hands in a freelance manner where you log-on to the site, see tasks that need doing and get anywhere between $3-$7 for doing a task. As our son will hopefully be coming home from the NICU super-soon my wife and I imagine we will have a lot of time spent at home in the evening and on weekends. Therefore, I figured I could apply to work for Fancy Hands and do that in my free-time to get a little extra spending money. That way I could buy some more comics, get my wife and I a treat at Dairy Queen, something like that. I mean, how hard could it be to get approved by Fancy Hands?

I was rejected, twice.

I do not want to brag as there are tons of people much smarter than me. However, I did graduate with my Bachelor's of Science with a 4.0 GPA, I have a Master's Degree in Public Health from the highly respected Washington University, I write often enough I have a a good grasp of the English language and proper grammar (your versus you're as well as to, two, and too trip everyone up), and thanks to my moving around a lot when I was growing-up I never developed a particular accent and speak clear, concise English. Also, I am a great conversationalist and can actually stand calling AT&T when we need help with our service. I personally feel I am a skilled, smart, people-person who has the writing and speaking abilities necessary to help someone set-up a dentist appointment. You know what Fancy Hands said after I took their grammar test, supplied audio of me speaking, and answered sample questions however? They said, "Fuck you, David, you aren't good enough for us!"

Look, I know there are plenty of ways to make a little extra scratch, and I'm sure a number of other side-gigs would be happy to utilize me. That said, some part of me is just really insulted that Fancy Hands has said no to me twice, because if I did everything right and exceed all their qualifications, what else do I have to do to get approved? Do I need to get that PhD I've always considered? Perhaps I should send them an extra-long audio sample of me pronouncing really difficult words? Hell, maybe I can just send them an edible arrangement with a note politely begging for them to reconsider me as if we were feuding lovers?

Seriously, Fancy Hands, I don't know what you want from me. I gave you my all, twice, and I never would have thought something I was just planning to do in my spare time to get a little extra moolah would be harder to get approved by than anything else I've ever encountered. Just tell me what you want, Fancy Hands, and I'll do it! This isn't even just about the supplemental income anymore, it is about proving to you that I'm good enough to cancel a dog-grooming appointment, tell someone if they can practice law in another state without taking the Bar again, and order catering for a meeting. I don't like rejection, but I can accept it when it happens. I just never thought you would reject me Fancy Hands, because I'm clearly a great person to have in your corner!

Clearly I'm kinda upset about the whole thing but will get over it. We as humans have to understand that sometimes we will fail, and learn from that failure so we can succeed in the future. It still stings though, and I really wonder if sending an edible arrangement might help...

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