Saturday, January 7, 2017

Valiant Comics Cat-Cover Reviews

An Incredible Promotion
My cats loved the comics too and wanted to check them out!
I enjoy looking at photos of cool cosplay and enjoy looking at photos of cats. Therefore, when Valiant first told us about their intention to release variant covers for a number of their comics featuring cats cosplaying as their characters I declared without hesitation how they had won the internet that day. Through their teaming-up with the blog, "Cat Cosplay of the Feline Variety," they have now made and released a number of awesome cat-themed covers--with much props going to them for donating a chunk of the proceeds from these variants to the animal-adoption agency, BARC.

I'm on Valiant's press-mailing list so I reached out to them as a member of the press and proud cat-daddy of two adopted kitties to inquire if I could review the cat-themed covers. Now, I told Valiant the same thing I am about to tell you, my dear readers: I am not going to review the actual comics. Yes, you read that right, for the first time ever I am not going to be reading and reviewing the inside of these comics, I am actually just going to review the covers! I am going to rate these comics based on two attributes with my usual 0-to-5 star system: Cutness and, cat-attitude, or, "Catittude." I told the good folk at Valiant this plan and they were down with it and more than happy to mail me the comics so that I could examine and review each cover with a physical copy I closely examined to determine the exact degree of adorableness and my aforementioned, "Catittude." I now present the comics in alphabetical order!

The Covers
The Adventures of Archer & Armstrong #10
The first comic-cover I'll be discussing is also the only one to feature both of the cat models found on the comic-covers so it already is superb for its double-catness. The outfits on each cat fit snugly and look great, and they have a happy and relaxed look as if they are getting ready to go on a fun adventure! They are very chill however so despite the immense cuteness there isn't a ton of catittude.
Cuteness: 5 out of 5 stars.
Catittude: 3 out of 5 stars.

Blood Shot U.S.A. #3
Our model looks absolutely fierce on this cover, with his eyes squinted as if he's getting ready to cause just as much violent trouble as the titular character Bloodshot has been known for doing. The outfit is pretty minimalist just as with the real Bloodshot, and it isn't cute so much as extremely intimidating. The catitude is off-the-charts with this one!
Cuteness: 3 out of 5 stars.
Catittude: 5 out of 5 stars (and then some)!

Britannia #4
Not only does out cat-model look absolutely incredible in his Roman garb, he also is utterly adorable. He's giving off an aura of strength, but also love and kindness. This was one of my wife's favorite covers when she looked through the books and I can see why it appealed to her so much, it's just stellar!
Cuteness: 5 out of 5 stars.
Catittude: 5 out of 5 stars.

Divinity III: Stalinverse #1
Oh my God, is that a cosmonaut kitty? Is he looking incredible in that outfit but also giving off an intense look in his eyes too? The answer to all of those questions is yes, and I think we may have found my favorite cover!
Cuteness: 5 out of 5 stars.
Catittude: 5 out of 5 stars.

Eternal Warrior #14
Our model in this picture has a mysterious look going, with some of his face hidden in a cloak. I would be hesitant to get too close however because that battle-axe looks freshly sharpened! Between the axe and cloak-placement this picture is dripping with cattitude, but the cloak hides way too much of that cute face!
Cuteness: 3 out of 5 stars.
Catittude: 5 out of 5 stars.

Faith #6
I know I said I wouldn't comment about the comics themselves, but, "Faith," really is a good comic, and I'm happy it has a cover this cool to compliment it. Cats wearing wigs is always a fun sight, and our cat-model absolutely rocks that blonde hair. The kitty looks like it is staring off into the distance as if to say, "Look out World, I'm gonna mess you up, and I've got great hair too!" A great cover fur sure (that isn't a spelling error, I wanted to make that pun)!
Cuteness: 5 out of 5 stars.
Catittude: 4 out of 5 stars.

Generation Zero #5
This was my wife's other favorite color because she said, "I really like the lighting on the cat." I agree with her wholeheartedly, as our kitty here has its gorgeous fur looking bright and complimenting its blue and red outfit perfectly. The cat doesn't look too full of catittude, but it sure looks perfect for a snuggle!
Cuteness: 5 out of 5 stars.
Catittue: 3 out of 5 stars.

Harbinger Renegade #2
This cover is a favorite of mine (along with the, "Divinity," one) as our model just looks so purrfect with its snazzy glasses and delightfully grey-and-blue outfit. The glasses give off an intense and smart vibe that make me feel like this kitty would be just as comfortable getting a tummy rub as it would be delivering a big science-lecture. Just plain great!
Cuteness: 5 out of 5 stars.
Catittude: 5 out of 5 stars.

Ninjak #22
As with the, "Bloodshot," cover or, "Eternal Warrior," cover this just oozes catittude, with our model dressed in appropriately-stealthy gear that looks as silent as it does comfy. Just as with the, "Eternal Warrior," cover however too much of our model's adorable face is obscured! I want to be able to enjoy the cosplay and ooh and ahh over the kissable kittens, after all. 
Cuteness: 3 out of 5 stars.
Catittude: 5 out of 5 stars.

Savage #2
Our last cover is a great one as well, with equal doses of cuteness and cattitude for readers to enjoy. The model seems both relaxed and ready to pounce, with the feathers in the head-fur complimenting everything quite well too--after all, plenty a cat would love to keep a trophy of his or her hunts!
Cuteness: 5 out of 5 stars.
Catittude: 4 out of 5 stars.

Beautiful Stuff
"These comics are as snazzy as my hat!"
This post was a bit less snarky than some of my stuff, probably because cats have the ability to melt my cold and cynical heart, resulting in me wanting to make cute cat-based puns as opposed to bemoaning the latest stupid event-delay in comics or the fact that the United States appears to be on the road to political ruin--but I digress because my stress-levels won't rise as much as long as I have these superb cat-covers to enjoy. I hope you all enjoyed this post and thanks again to Valiant for being willing to provide these comics--I can just picture them confusedly asking, "Wait, he just wants to review the covers with the cats?" upon receiving my email and delighting me by saying, "Sure!" I just hope that more cat-themed variant covers come soon from Valiant, and considering how fantastic these are I wouldn't be surprised if we see other comic-publishers following Valiant's lead and doing animal-cosplay covers of their own!

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